I am going to leave him!

[WhenItRains111]

After years of been put down with so called jokes, him not looking after our DD, blaming everything on me in counselling, him sexting other women and probably s**gging them too, I am going to finally LTB.

I’m going to do it tomorrow, can’t do it today, but I know he’ll say why didn’t I do it sooner like on the weekend and try and make me feel guilty as if I’m in the wrong. Or he’ll cry and try and get me to change my mind! Tell me that I’m acting crazy and that it’ll pass. I know all of this now. But has anyone got any advice on how I can protect myself from these emotional attacks?

Well done. Have you got anywhere to go?

I do I am going to my sisters but because we have a young DD I’ll still have to have some sort of contact.

Can you take your DD with you?

Of course, DD is coming with me, no way I’d leave her with him.. I couldn’t either as she is bfd. But obviously he’d want to see her, well I think he would

Ohh

?

Well, the answer is to just do an inner 'grey rock' in your head. Whatever he does or says has nothing to do with you. You can watch it like you would watch a play, or television. Or even better, like a David Attenborough documentary on animal behaviour... You don't have to respond or answer his questions or even listen to them.

So best of all say nothing, or keep it to 'This isn't working for me any more and I am leaving'.

You need to be able to see this compulsion of yours to try to get him to see your point of view and the compulsion to help him with his point of view. Do NOT reply to any of his points even if he begs and cries. Grey, grey rock.

Grey rock.

When he speaks or cries just think inside of all the reasons you're going. What he thinks about the timing is irrelevant. It doesn't matter. You have a new life ahead of you.

Good luck!

Congrats on the strong decision! I guess phrases like 'I don't need your opinion on that' and 'im sorry you feel that way' will be handy. Just try to have as little contact as possible. Cut the ways he can contact you down to like one number or something and don't respond unless it is something to do with the child arrangements. Hang up if he goes off tangent lol.

The less contact the better because its all very well saying grey rock but the thing is that really isn't possible if you are in close proximity with them for a long period of time. They will find a way to grind your gears.

Need to look into the grey rock method.

@Pinkbonbon and exactly I find he brings DD or my family into the conversation as that is guaranteed to get me to say something. That or when he doesn’t look after DD properly and I’ll have to say something.