Contact old 'friend'?

[WeakAsIAm]

So probably more of an AIBU but don't have the rhino skin for the replies.

In my late teens/early 20's I had a male friend; probably I now know as the best friend I would ever meet. He was the funniest kindest genuine person I ever met.

For me it was totally platonic; maybe young and foolish.

After some years he emigrated and we lost touch, that was over 20 years ago.

Other friends mentioned after he left; it was because he actually had unrequited feelings for me and needed to get away

So he has popped up on my social media as a friend of a friend etc.

Today I'm marrried, kids mortgage the whole shebang. I'm not looking for a relationship with this man. But I do want my friend back.

Am I selfish to send a friend request knowing I want to only be his friend and possibly cause him pain he doesn't deserve?

I would
Leave it

Ye you're probably right; nostalgia got the best of me

I don't mean this to sound as blunt as it may do, but he's probably gotten over you in the last 20 years.

I'd send a friend request and a "hello, how are you" catch up message. He will see from your photos you are married, and you may see from his that he Is too!

Some things are best left as a memory and in the past. Leave it .

I’d have to agree. Leave it. I’ve been in this guys shoes where someone from my past kept getting in touch every few years. Like someone picking at a scab. I’d end up closing down a social media account and move to a different platform and she’d eventually find me there. It was horrible.

Leave it, why would you want to potentially hurt someone a second time?

Pain? Bloody hell thats a bit dramatic. 20 years later I doubt he is pining for you

You have mutual friends, so the chances are he’s seen/found you on Facebook too, but has decided against adding you. I’d leave the ball in his court given that he was the one who was hurt (not deliberately, I know, but hurt nonetheless).

Sorry yes 'pain' was a bit dramatic.

Yes I'm sure and genuinely hope he's well over me; im definitely not the 20yr old girl he once knew.

Yes I suppose he could have tracked me down if he wanted to by now and obviously hasn't.

Thanks for the responses