new boyfriend

[gracexbaker]

Basically I have been best friends with this guy for 2 years and we’re dating now. its been almost two weeks. He’s friends with mostly girls and his other best friend is a girl. She’s small and sweet and I know nothing can ever happen between them however today we were on this spinning swing with seats at opposite ends and it was spinning quickly so I asked for it to stop. Instead of grabbing the pole on one of the seats to stop it he grabbed under her legs and held onto her back to stop the swing instead of me. He has also invited her to his house alone but his parents were there. She is also my best friend so we can hang out as a three but I sometimes feel like a third wheel. He is very affectionate with his other girl friends. Like he strokes this girls hair and lays his head on her shoulder and lap in front of me. I don’t know if I’m being silly or not but whenever I speak to him about it he doesn’t think he’s done anything wrong. In the past he had another girlfriend who hated me and behaved really horribly towards me she had a bad personality and they broke up after a year and a half slightly because of me but mainly because of her personality but I feel like I’m going through the same thing. The only difference is his best friend is my best friend and I’d never do anything to hurt her unlike his old girlfriend. am I right? should I just end this?

If you're not happy or comfortable then you shouldn't be with him. You have explained how you feel, he isn't willing to change, that's his right and it's yours to be in a relationship where you feel comfortable.

What prompted the change from friend to gf? How affectionate is he with you around vher?

I do think a shared best friend does make it all feel a bit too close for comfort

I love him so much and he tells me he loves me all the time too. I changed as a person over the last year and he noticed that. he said he started to like me in a different way because of it. there was an incident last year where we were running around and playing it when drunk and his ex girlfriend was told this and she got angry but to this day she hasn't really explained. like he used to hug me when he sees me but didn't do much else. he cared for me in a brother-like way.

He's got really crap boundaries, hasn't he?

He was messing around with you when he was seeing someone else and now he's messing around with someone else while he's seeing you.

I dont mean messing around sexually but in this playful, flirty way.

I'd say it's designed to make you feel a bit insecure and keep you on your toes.

It doesn't sound like this is a relationship that is going to enhance your life particularly.

I also suspect that deep down you don't really want to end it in case he gets together with her (not really sure why her being small means nothing could happen ) and I'm pretty sure he's aware of this too.

He has got together with one best friend (you), why not another? This will eat you up and I think he's loving all the attention.

Does not sound healthy to me.

He has got together with one best friend (you), why not another? This will eat you up and I think he's loving all the attention.

Does not sound healthy to me.

How old are you OP? You sound very young?
I think it’s easier all round to try if possible to keep dating life and friendship groups completely separate. Less complicated that way! I think most people would be pretty uncomfortable about how he is acting.

He sounds immature to me. Constantly in contact with women. I wouldn't do it and I wouldn't like it.

There's a guy in my social group who behaves like this and it's slightly weird. Hugs slightly too long, laying head on shoulders. I think he needs a mummy or likes the possibility that he can touch a range of women in a slightly more intimate way than most. There's something about it, for sure.

My advice is, just listen to your gut. It is telling you there is something off because there IS something off. If you can bear to, find another man, one who doesn't touch every girl.

I recognise your username but nothing comes up

You sound very young

How old are you op? X

How old are you op? X

Yeah, I had this. My DD's dad is now dating his "best friend." 🙄

He sounds creepy

You & the ex GF have both realised that being in a romantic relationship is different to being friends with someone, some things with the opposite sex are appropriate, some things aren't. There are boundaries & they're there for a good reason.
He sounds a lot like the women who witter on about how their best friends are all men, they just get on so much better with men, the men's GF's just don't understand that their relationship is such an awesome one & can't budge up an inch to let anyone else in.
He has his own little harem there, his heard of cows, and he'll get round to all of you eventually. Everyone just has to wait their turn.

herd lol.

Odd behaviour.
If you speak to him about it making you feel uncomfortable he'll probably accuse you of interfering with friendships.
I wouldn't be comfortable with any of that. I'd end it before it gets heavier, messy & there's fall outs left, right and centre.
You'll move on & not give a damn about who he's stroking.
Either a massive flirt or is there any possibility he's not heterosexual?