Ex - What is he playing at?!

[Charlottemummyof1]

On here for a bit of advice my ex husband and I split in 2016 because he was going to swingers events and on online sites meeting people behind my back since I was pregnant in 2014. A week after splitting he was in a relationship and two days after divorce paperwork came through on my bday he got engaged I’ve heard from other people (small town) that’s he’s still up to his old tricks and recently got told he’s back swinging behind her back while his dad has just given him £4,000 towards a wedding to the poor girl! Ive also been shown proof.

Should I do anything with this info it’s horrible watching it all happen again to someone else.

Also He’s barely seeing our son probably about 3 days a month, but I don’t even want our son around someone That treats people like that!

Any advice would be welcome! Kind comments only please :)

If you told her, would she even believe you?
If the whole town knows, she will too, soon enough.
I don’t think there’s anything necessarily wrong with telling her if you have irrefutable proof, but you may have to deal with the fallout of being the messenger; including from your ex.

Stay out of it, she’ll find out for herself. If he isn’t making effort with your son then that is a different and very important conversation you need to have with him. Do you have a visitation agreement he is not meeting? If not, put one in place. I hope he is meeting his financial obligation too.

Stay out of it.

No cos your make your own life more difficult esp as you have a child together.

Regarding him seeing his son, you can't force him to see him more, but neither can you stop him cos of his behaviour doesn't effect the child.

She might not believe you. She might think you're jealous and just trying to stir up trouble between them. If you have proof then yes consider telling her but not if it's hearsay.

There are already a few red flags that the new fiance is choosing to ignore. (The guy barely sees his own child for starters, I mean...) So I agree that there is a big chance she will not believe you and think you are causing trouble. But it's kind of you that you do want to warn her.

Barely seeing your own child would be a red flag for me unfortunately most people believe the hype that women stop "good fathers" from seeing their children and that women only want money for kids are slags etc etc etc my ex tells people I stop him seeing his kids when I have texts off him saying he is sick cant see them etc he tells people all I want is money I've not claimed a penny off him and he never offers perceptions are so different to reality

But it's kind of you that you do want to warn her.

Agreed. Is there anyway you could send the proof to her anonymously?

Anonymous would be your best bet send proof to her parents too maybe? Give her somewhere to go without having to lie

She wouldn't believe you. But if you've found out I'd suggest it wont be long until she does from someone else too

I agree slipperywhensparticus there is a good chance he will have blamed the OP for the little contact he has with his child. I’m so sorry you are going through this.

If that is the case, that might make the fiancé even less likely to believe the OP. Anonymously might work best in this scenario.