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Original poster

Meeting the family

4 replies

Mummy6661 · 05/08/2019 23:07

I have been firstly been texting this guy I met through friends since February. We have been officially dating since the beginning of June.
Since then things have just gone so well and fast. A good fast.
I've met his family and visit him often(He lives at home). He has told me he loves me (He is not the sort to fall in love quickly and this is the first time for him for around 3 years).

I've asked him to come and meet my parents. I literally want him to walk in my house, say hello then we can go and do our own thing. My parents are not the sort who need to meet my dates over an intense dinner as I have reassured him!

He is constantly refusing. He tells me how nervous he is and how he hates meeting new people but to throw a spanner in the works, I leave to travel this month unt December. When I come home he would've moved an hour and a half away from me. This now means that we will have to travel further to see each other but if he won't meet my parents then I'd be the only one travelling to see him

I know it seems soon but I just want him to meet them to get it over with so he can become part of my life instead of me constantly being in his.

Am I wrong for wanting to push him into it before I leave at the end of the month ?

OP posts:
EileenAlanna · 05/08/2019 23:23

Sounds like you'd be better off ending it with him before you travel & see how things go when you get back.
He lives with his parents, has you coming to their house a lot in the 2 months you've been dating & doesn't seem to want your life/family to have any kind of prominence.
You've no idea whether he's the type to fall in love quickly or not, you barely know him. What happened with the other girl he was in love with? How long were they together & why did it end? Can you get any idea of the circumstances from an impartial source?
Just don't rush into anything.

Original poster
Mummy6661 · 06/08/2019 06:16

Sorry I forgot to mention he is my best friends boyfriend's brother that's how we met. She's been with his brother over 11 years so i do have an idea of how often he falls in love

He was in a 4 year relationship which ended 3 years ago as they just drifted apart.

It's just not a good feeling as I never planned to be dating someone before I went away but he makes it seem like he is very serious about me. He has booked flights to visit my apartment half way through my travels(2 months into it)... It wouldn't even be a holiday for him so the only reason he will fly out is to literally see me ?

I hope you can see why I'm getting confused? Like he is acting and treating us like we are serious yet isn't part of my life ?

OP posts:
ThatCurlyGirl · 06/08/2019 06:48

Have you sat down with him calmly and really made it clear you're upset about this and it's something super important to you?

If so and he's still gladly refusing for embarrassment reasons then he isn't sounding willing to go out of his way for you and it would indicate you're on different pages.

I once got myself in a state over something similar and kept feeling resentful it hadn't happened or had been brushed off every time. But I all seriously (it was a silly little thing looking back!) sat down with my boyfriend at the time and said how sad it was making me and his reply was along the line of "jeez I honestly didn't realise it was upsetting you, sorry of course I'll go!" It just wasn't that big a deal to him until I told him I was feeling genuinely upset. He was lovely about it bless him.

Could you give him a chance to do the same?

If he really won't even then, then I'd be reassessing things with him OP.

ThatCurlyGirl · 06/08/2019 06:48

Have you sat down with him calmly and really made it clear you're upset about this and it's something super important to you?

If so and he's still gladly refusing for embarrassment reasons then he isn't sounding willing to go out of his way for you and it would indicate you're on different pages.

I once got myself in a state over something similar and kept feeling resentful it hadn't happened or had been brushed off every time. But I all seriously (it was a silly little thing looking back!) sat down with my boyfriend at the time and said how sad it was making me and his reply was along the line of "jeez I honestly didn't realise it was upsetting you, sorry of course I'll go!" It just wasn't that big a deal to him until I told him I was feeling genuinely upset. He was lovely about it bless him.

Could you give him a chance to do the same?

If he really won't even then, then I'd be reassessing things with him OP.

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