Am I wrong ?

[PoppyHxx]

So me & partner have been together for 3 years and have a little girl. He works mon - thurs , i work sat & sun so we now dont have a lot of time together because of my maternity leave.

My partner loves his gaming. He usually plays Mon - Thurs for 1 hour & a half after work (bare in mind he finishes at 6pm , and we go to bed at 10pm) friday he will play a couple times during the day and recently has his friend round and plays from around 8pm -1 am. He will play sat & sun when im home inbetween jobs (depending how much time i am home for)

Our relationship is just going down hill abit. He is a great partner & dad , he does alot for us ... works hard pays most of the bills etc.

Ive said to.him i just wish he wanted to spend more time with us as a family , like bathing her , playing with her & putting her to bed (together) ...

He said im really controlling , making him unhappy and hes been sulking all evening , messaged his friend saying he wont be playing anymore.

I said I dont mind his & his friends gaming night , maybe just make evenings after work our family time together, he genuinely got emotional over it and made me feel really bad about it.

Hes 27, im 22 we have a 10 month old , these moments dont last forever i want to enjoy our little one , what do you all think , am I unreasonable, any tips for me ? Anyone had any similar experiences??

Thank you

And thanks for reading my essay 😂

Dont have much time together because of my maternity leave ending *

Wanted to reply because nobody has. He's basically spending to much time gaming. That should be priority 2 for him. He can set aside some gaming time and he should set aside family time. Gaming shouldn't effect anything else e.g He's too tired through the day because he's been up all night.

He's behaving like a child by sulking.

I recently got an old Xbox but only play it when I can and not online. I can fully understand how addictive it is and playing online or with others will just SAP all the time I had.

Family time should be more important than gaming time. Come up with an agreement and don't be afraid to lay down your expectations and boundaries.

Wanted to reply because nobody has. He's basically spending to much time gaming. That should be priority 2 for him. He can set aside some gaming time and he should set aside family time. Gaming shouldn't effect anything else e.g He's too tired through the day because he's been up all night.

He's behaving like a child by sulking.

I recently got an old Xbox but only play it when I can and not online. I can fully understand how addictive it is and playing online or with others will just SAP all the time I had.

Family time should be more important than gaming time. Come up with an agreement and don't be afraid to lay down your expectations and boundaries.

Gaming can be addictive and it can be a real struggle.
My partner spends way more time than I'd like gaming however it's come down significantly.
There was a time when it literally took over his life.
I sat him down for a chat about it, it wasn't completely out of the blue as I'd been moaning about how much time he spent on it for ages, I said it was really a big deal for me.
I wanted a relationship with him and for me, that means spending time together, doing things together, if he wanted to just focus on playing games, that was fine but that wouldn't work for me...
That seemed to work but every now and then I do need to remind him that he's spending too much time gaming.

I think it's addictive and they lose track of time.

Chat to him.
Suggest things you'd like to do instead.
Get him away from the devices.
Good luck x

Why do these threads always start with 'he's a great Dad - he pays the bills'? That's the bare minimum a human being should do for their child! He is gaming far too much. He needs a serious look at his life. Ask him how your lives would be if you had an equally time consuming hobby? It just wouldn't work would it? You make sacrifices for your child and he doesn't. Selfish, immature prick. Sorry OP but I can't stand these 'gaming' dad's who let mum pick up the slack for them. He needs to grow the fuck up.

Wow, so if he has some me time it's not on? How about if he was down the pub every night, because that's what some men do.
Whilst I appreciate you want family time, you must also appreciate everyone needs some 'me' time.
I am assuming that he was gaming before the baby, if so you could have had this conversation a long time ago.
I would actually make the most of this hour and a half with the lo. Living in each other's pockets isn't great, your both end up with cabin fever.

He plays a minimum of ELEVEN HOURS a week plus most of Friday and Saturday? That's not ME time. That's 'no-one else matters but ME' time.

And so what if he played before kids? Did he expect his life to stay the same once he became responsible for another human being? I bet the OP doesn't get this much ME time.

Tell him that you won’t control how much he plays but if he doesn’t pay attention to his family they might not be there forever

Anyone had any similar experiences??

Yes, and I wouldn't date someone who was into gaming again. All the experiences i read on here are similar to mine - just a man wasting every free hour sitting in front of a screen and treating every level completion, or whatever, as an actual achievement. No need to engage in the real world when you get all your needs met via the XBox...

My exhusband ended up not doing any of the things he was previously interested in. He gave up everything to stare at a screen. He became completely obsessed.

He's now mid 40s and when our daughter goes round for contact time, guess what they spend their time doing..?

Icepinkeskimo - we currently dont have much time together in general because when one of us is home watching the baby the other is working. So having some family time would be lovely.

Everyone loves some Me time. Wheres my Me time ? I look after my daughter , keep the house in order , do the shopping and then I work. I dont have time to sit and relax because im usually tidying up once i get a break.

My whole pregnancy i wanted more time from him to spend together but all he wanted to do was game. I dont mind him playing but sometimes I feel the amount is too much , when we could be making family memories instead.

The hour & a half he games every evening. Im bathing , putting our daughter to bed & then usually doing dishes , so you say ti make the most of him gaming , when instead it may be nice to have some help.

And ive told him he can do what he like , ive just said my feelings .. which are I wish he actually wanted to spend more time with us , but I wont be the partner who forces him to do something , i said if it really makes you that happy then do it

Can you agree days or times when you both have free time?

Literally make a rota so it becomes clear how much time you each have. I don't agree that bathing the baby needs to be done together though.

Why does he feel he doesn't have to put his own child to bed??

Its not that we need to do these things together all of the time. Maybe it would be nice to do together every once in a while or it would be nice to have him there after wards , but if he was playing a game he is stuck on it for over an hour as he cant pause it

Its not that he feels he doesnt have too , he just wants to game. He does put her to bed when im working