should ds's nursery be told of martial problems....

[americantrish]

i wasnt sure where else to post this

should i talk to my son's nursery about the problems at home? someone suggested i did and i dont know if i should

(sorry if this seems wishy-washy, not a good day really.)

yes, definately. It will explain a lot of behavior that may otherwise be put down to willfulness.

i suppose it would depent how bad the problems were, if there is a chance your son will be effected by it and the nursery will notice a change in his behavior then i would say yes tell them.

i would speak to a member of staff who i felt would be most understanding and just ask her to tell you if they notice anything diffrent about your ds.

sorry to hear you are having difficulties

when DS attended nursery, they did always say if there was a change in family circumstances, say, a bereavement, a divorce , even moving house, anything that could unsettle and affect the childs behaviour, to let them know

i would speak to the nursery manager, in private

ds is normally quite active and spirited (and has been behaving better at nursery!!)
the problems are bad. last sunday was the first row we had while ds was awake in ages. and he was quite upset
as things get worse with me and dh (separation looming) - it will effect ds (this scares me to no end, almost into wanting to stay.)

thank you lulumama...(and others.)

i am sure that you will try to protect your DS as much as possible from the effects of the breakdown, but obviously it will have an effect...what a difficult situation

its a complicated one too lulumama ....
i just need to stop avoiding it...

are you getting independent legal advice re the break up? and support from friends and family..will be invaluable if things are complicated

(hug)

It's probably a good idea to let the nursery manager know privately that things are a bit difficult at home, so they will be aware if your LO acts up a bit, that there's a reason for it. You don't need to go into reams of detail with them.

its a very personal thing. As a childminder I would suggest that the main carer (keyworker) is told. Explain that it isnt common knowledge and you would rather it was kept confidential.

This way if your child makes a comment they have the knowledge to give a correct response. I was once told that "Daddy doesnt live with us anymore" Luckily mum had explained situation to me (it wasnt a break up) so I could explain to the child that daddy will be coming back soon and that He loved them all very much etc.

HTH

lulumama> no advice as of yet, but soon i presume. family in america, but supportive of whatever i choose. almost all my friends are online (hug)

thanks madamez and mrsweasley...i will talk to them tomorrow....

online friends are good too {{hugs}}

Where else can you have a laugh or a serious chat 24 hours a day

oh absolutely! since living in the UK, my online friends have been more than invaluable to me!!