Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Relationship advice please

14 replies

gnostick22a · 05/08/2019 11:42

Firstly I am a bloke and got divorced about 18 months. Met someone via OLD and for the first 3 months its been fine (subject to the fact we could only meet every other weekend due to kids). Never met in the week as she has her kids.

Fast forward on and she is talking about going on holiday together etc. Soon after that and for the last 4-5 weeks we hardly chat (she is too busy/ tired - I understand the latter), wanted space etc. I did see her one weekend, but she was ill so just cooked and cleant up a little at her place. She does whatsapp a little (very transactional) but no more pictures of what she is up to etc (which I got before).

I am at a total loss as to how things turned around so quickly.

I know everyone is different, but given its so new am I better off just calling it a day?

I don't want to as I really like her but this 'limbo' is really not doing me any good.

thanks

OP posts:
Oleanderrules · 05/08/2019 11:48

Why don't you just ask her ?

Oleanderrules · 05/08/2019 11:49

Why don't you just ask her ?

clarissa469 · 05/08/2019 12:11

Just ask. You'll never know if you don't. Unfortunately this is sometimes people's way of ending it. It's pretty rude to be honest and not fair on you.

clarissa469 · 05/08/2019 12:11

Just ask. You'll never know if you don't. Unfortunately this is sometimes people's way of ending it. It's pretty rude to be honest and not fair on you.

MissDew · 05/08/2019 12:50

Lots of complications involving her kids and yours, I assume. Ask her out right: have you had any more thoughts on going on holiday ? Or, are you still interested in going on holiday ?

It's up to you how you phrase it.

She might find you a bit to, 'full on.' By pictures she sent you, do you mean, 'saucy snaps' of her ?

She might not know how to back down from suggesting a holiday together and may be trying to cool things between you both.

Original poster
gnostick22a · 05/08/2019 12:54

Thanks

@ Miss Dew - Nothing saucy, just normal stuff that one does - picture worth a thousand words and all that.

She did say I was full on so I just stepped back. I didn't suggest a holiday or meeting her kids.

I have asked but at the wrong time (she was ill) so I let it slide. May just have to be brave and ask again.

thanks

OP posts:
newmomof1 · 05/08/2019 12:54

If you were a woman all of those responses would have read 'are you sure he's not married/you're just one of many/you deserve better don't waste your time'.

Honestly, though, it sounds like she's not interested. Ask if she's up for meeting at the weekend (or weekend after depending how it works with kids) - if she comes up with another excuse, take the hint and walk away.

newmomof1 · 05/08/2019 12:55

If you were a woman all of those responses would have read 'are you sure he's not married/you're just one of many/you deserve better don't waste your time'.

Honestly, though, it sounds like she's not interested. Ask if she's up for meeting at the weekend (or weekend after depending how it works with kids) - if she comes up with another excuse, take the hint and walk away.

newmomof1 · 05/08/2019 12:55

If you were a woman all of those responses would have read 'are you sure he's not married/you're just one of many/you deserve better don't waste your time'.

Honestly, though, it sounds like she's not interested. Ask if she's up for meeting at the weekend (or weekend after depending how it works with kids) - if she comes up with another excuse, take the hint and walk away.

newmomof1 · 05/08/2019 12:55

If you were a woman all of those responses would have read 'are you sure he's not married/you're just one of many/you deserve better don't waste your time'.

Honestly, though, it sounds like she's not interested. Ask if she's up for meeting at the weekend (or weekend after depending how it works with kids) - if she comes up with another excuse, take the hint and walk away.

Original poster
gnostick22a · 05/08/2019 12:56

@Miss Dew - I am curious what does cool things down mean - friends?

OP posts:
MissDew · 05/08/2019 13:18

Maybe. She sounds like she's taken a step back. Although, I'm trying to give her a break as she's not been well and it's the school holidays too.

You could ask, 'am I being a bit to, 'full on ?' Have your feelings changed ? Should we just be friends for a while ?

Original poster
gnostick22a · 05/08/2019 15:52

@MissDew

thanks, I think I will try and just give her space and get on with my life.

Reading some other threads kind of helps.

I guess I just need to appreciate things can change quickly and people can jump in without thinking.

OP posts:
Original poster
gnostick22a · 08/08/2019 21:18

Well the good news is that I am out of limbo.

The bad news is that it’s a break. Just trying rather badly to do NC

Sigh

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page