My mental health is in a state after being in talks with DH for a week in regards to his selfish, insensitive behaviour and doing what he pleases even when he knows I am struggling with young DCs and returning to work.
I have offered compromises, asked for better communication when he wants to go and do his hobbies, but he just has it in his head that I "just want to stop him from doing things he wants to do."
We have young DCs and I have asked him to see this as temporary until they're a little older and work with me better until then, to communicate and plan with me better so I know he's going away to do things in advance. But he still has it in his head that I am setting out to trample all over his social life.
I am not in a position to leave yet and I will be making arrangements to get help with planning to get away as a result of his insensitivity. But I am absolutely drained from trying to get him to see my point of view. It's manifesting itself physically and my body feels like a boulder, my eyes are sore from crying, my vision is blurred, I have hesdaches waking me up through the night. I feel really lousy.
So, how can I survive staying, knowing I need to leave? How do I avoid the temptation to have these talks with him which zap me mentally, physically and emotionally again? I need some practical help and emotional support.
He will also be continuing to sing to his own tune after numerous requests for more consideration from him so I need to live with this too. He is quite impulsive but sees no issue with being so. I am frustrated after explaining what I need from him until I'm blue in the face. Everyone else "gets it" but him. I am gutted that it isn't enough for him that his behaviour is upsetting me and making me feel taken for granted. He just keeps saying that it "is not unreasonable" for him to do x,y and z.
He has tried to be affectionate this morning and I assumed he had realised that he was wrong. But he said he still stands by what he said and refuses to communicate and plan better when he wants to engage in social activities alone. He is also less interested in engaging socially together than he is with his friends or for the sake of his hobbies and hasn't agreed to try harder with us.
He will no doubt want to continue his hot and cold affection towards me regardless of the outcome, something I find very difficult to deal with. How do I manage this also? I really need a hug, but he's the reason I need one in the first place. How can I not give in and how do I harden to him?
Why do men think its acceptable to hurt the woman of their children if they think something should be deemed "reasonable?" It's such a bizzare way to look at things.