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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Help with math please ;)

35 replies

Ihavehadenoughalready · 04/08/2019 03:47

Ok, tell me I’m not crazy here.

Husband and I are separated and discussing school expenses through iMessage.

We have, let’s say 450 in school fees, 123 spent today on school supplies (and we’re not done buying) plus a lunch account that needs to be jointly funded. We are to contribute 50/50 towards child expenses.

He says he will pay half the school fees (225) plus half the supplies (60) plus an extra 15 to make it an even 300. He will put the 300 in the lunch account, and seems to believe that this covers his half of th school fees.

He then says I can then pay the 450 school fee plus half the supplies, and it’s all good.

I say 450 + 123 + 300= 873, and that 873/2= 436.50 a piece.

I repeatedly try to show him that paying into the lunch account does not count towards school fees, that I will end up paying 510 to his 300.

He does not understand this.

Tell me I have this correct.

Tell me he has issues with math.

I’m also thinking maybe this is how he got into such a gambling mess, because he doesn’t understand math?

OP posts:
butterflyFed · 04/08/2019 04:00

If you paid for school supplies, he needs to reimburse you £60 (rounding down). He can't count the same £60 twice: towards school supplies and lunch account. That is what he is doing, counting the same amount twice, contributing it once.

Zofloramummy · 04/08/2019 04:01

I don’t understand, if he is paying 225 for school fees, half the supplies and 300 for the lunches isn’t he paying more?

Zofloramummy · 04/08/2019 04:03

Oh sorry yes I get it now! No he isn’t paying half. You are correct.

butterflyFed · 04/08/2019 04:08

Some people have trouble with maths, but a simple scenario that he must see is:

"I paid £123 in supplies. You can put £123 in the lunch account and we will have both paid £123. Let's then split the school fees 50/50".

Original poster
Ihavehadenoughalready · 04/08/2019 04:18

My last message to him was that I would pay the 450 school fee plus the 60 towards supplies, but then he needs to put 510, not 300, in the lunch account.

He missed that last message, said he was going out to a movie.

Can’t wait to see his next message.

OP posts:
butterflyFed · 04/08/2019 04:20

I have re-read your OP, I must say it is a bit confusing Blush

The reason why the math is wrong is the following: you have contributed 100% of a expense: £123.

There are two ways to break even:

  • Reimbursement to you for 50% of the expense, so you have both contributed equally (£60)
  • Pay an equal amount for a different expense, so you have both spent the same amount (£123).

He saying you spent £123, he "spends" £60 and you are even. The difference here is "expense" vs "reimbursement" (in one of them you receive money, the other you don't)

Original poster
Ihavehadenoughalready · 04/08/2019 04:31

Butterfly, to me the problem is he’s saying his half of the school fees are going in the lunch account, and that takes care of his half of the school fees, but it doesn’t if I still have to pay the 450 school fees. So, in all, he would be paying 300 and I would be paying 510, which is, math here, not 50/50. He is in effect saying that the 225 goes towards both the school fees and the lunch account, and I say one simply cannot use it to count towards both accounts.

And I’m going a bit nutty trying to explain that 300 and 510 are not equal.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ihavehadenoughalready · 04/08/2019 04:42

Butterfly,

And yes, it’s confusing, sorry, but he’s made it confusing by trying to put money in the lunch account and also give himself credit for school fees! I think he thinks by his contributing his 300 into the lunch account, that that somehow reimburses me fully for the 450 + 123 + x, x being the amount of money we need to put into the lunch account. He has decided x=300, but then the total amount is, as I said, 873, of which his half is not 300, and my half is not 510!

I feel like he’s trying to trick me, yet I think he’s just really not smart enough and if I could just explain it another 6 different ways, he might get it.

I even thought maybe I could suggest he send the series of messages to his atty so he could see if what he was trying to propose was correct.

Then I thought maybe it’s just me being overly petty and I should just let it go and pay it. But I don’t want to set any precedence for paying g more than my fair share.

Argh!!!!

OP posts:
shazchip · 04/08/2019 06:03

Well your OP was pretty confusing but what I got from it was :

By paying the £300 it looks like he's assuming that the £15 to 'round up' is all that's required to cover the lunch portion.

But then, putting £300 into a lunch account implies that £300 is required to cover lunch, in which case you're liable for £150 each (which he hasn't paid).

I don't really understand the 'lunch account' thing anyway - is it just a bank account you're using to pay lunches or is it a school thing? If you can't withdraw the money from it that he's paid in, i.e. if £300 now HAS to be lunch money, then either he needs to give you £150-£15=£135 extra, or he needs to transfer you his £300 to a different bank account and you only put in £15 for lunches too.

ColdAndSad · 04/08/2019 09:07

He is double-accounting there, which is why the numbers don't work out.

The easiest way to resolve this is to write a list of all the expenses, including the lunch account (which you've not itemised in your initial post). And then to add them all up, and split the total into two. Then he can pay a portion of that total into the lunch account if he wants to, and pay the rest to you or the school, whatever works best for you both.

mummmy2017 · 04/08/2019 09:19

Here ex.
School fees plus extras come to... 450+123... We then need £300 for lunch as well....873. In total...
Your half is £436.50. Less the £300 you have already deposited.....so you still owe me £136.50....

Watchingthyme · 04/08/2019 10:43

Blimey why do you have to make it so complicated. Only one person has access to the lunch account. Surely that’s easier.
Whoever has overall charge of all costs says please pay the half into my account and I’ll sort the details.

Original poster
Ihavehadenoughalready · 04/08/2019 11:03

The lunch account yes is a school thing, once money is init, can only be used for lunches.

I did not make it complicated, HE did.

mummy2017. Yes, exactly what I have calculated.

OP posts:
mummmy2017 · 04/08/2019 11:05

If he creates , tell him Ok, next term I can do the lunch £300 lunch you can do the £450 fees....

dementedpixie · 04/08/2019 11:12

How much is required in total in the lunch account? Add that to the full amount of the other items before dividing by 2 and then send him the full breakdown. He needs to realise the lunch account is an additional payment

Original poster
Ihavehadenoughalready · 04/08/2019 11:15

coldandsad thanks, yes, “double accounting”, yep, I kept saying “but can’t you see you’re trying to use the 225 twice; once to pay towards fees and once to pay towards lunches, and you can only use the amount to pay one or the other?”

And he keeps trying to make it count twice, and can’t see that 510 is not the same as 300.

And is telling me that he is being generous by throwing in an “extra” 15 into the lunch account.

I don’t intend to fight over every joint expense, and I’ve already paid what could be construed as some joint expenses by myself, but if this is how he’s gonna be when we actually come to the divorce settlement, I’m gonna have to watch him like a hawk.

OP posts:
ColdAndSad · 04/08/2019 11:25

As I said, you need to list all the costs and then halve it. That's all.

I have to wonder if he's being deliberately difficult by refusing to see this.

verystressedmum · 04/08/2019 12:47

He's doing this on purpose to get out of paying the extra money.
He should be able to understand that X + X + X = Y so his half is Z

Stop explaining it to him and tell him he owes you extra money and you expect it.

Original poster
Ihavehadenoughalready · 04/08/2019 12:55

verystressedmum good advice

OP posts:
HeronLanyon · 04/08/2019 13:00

This kind of calculation often trips me up too. To do with incorrect double deduction/addition and ratios. He’s not necessarily being unfair or sum, nor are you. Others have advised. I dare not.

HeronLanyon · 04/08/2019 13:00

Dim not sum.

HollowTalk · 04/08/2019 13:09

How much is the lunch money per month?

Surely you just list the three costs and halve it? Only the lunch money should go into the lunch account.

Musti · 04/08/2019 13:17

I think it is best if you add up the total of everything and then divide by half. One of you is in charge of paying it and the other puts his or her half into the account of whoever paid it all.

Watchingthyme · 04/08/2019 13:31

He’s clearly trying to befuddle you.

Gregoire · 04/08/2019 13:37

Do you know what the total value of the lunch account needs to be? If so, you can just add it up as a simple sum then divide by 2. So if the lunch account for the whole term needs to be, say, 500, you can tell him that the overall cost of your child's education is 450+123+500 which comes to 1073, half of which is 536.5. So his share is 536.5.

If you don't know how much the lunch account needs to be yet then split the known sums in half. Fees plus supplies = 286.5 each. Then tell him that in addition you will each put the same amount into the lunch account.

It's tricky, because you can explain it to him but you can't understand it for him. If he's very stupid, it might be difficult - you could try getting a mutual friend to help convince him?