Lonely

[PumpkinP]

I am a single parent, I’ve been single for 3 years. I am 30 and I’ve accepted I will probably be single forever now, my ex is out of the picture and hasn’t seen the children more than 3 times in 3 years. I have accepted I can’t meet anyone due to no childcare at all. But how on earth do you get past the loneliness and boredom?! I lost a lot of friends when I had my children as I had them in my 20s and they are all party animals, even now! Although I still talk to them occasionally I rarely see them as they only go out clubbing and don’t want to do anything remotely child friendly, so I spend every day alone, I can go a week without speaking to another adult! I’m just struggling at the thought of this for the rest of my life, those of you that are happily single how do you stop feeling lonely?!

I know how it feels. Try and get out more in the day.

First off, you need to broaden your friendship group. Get pally with other mums from Nursery/School. Look into organisations that organise things for single
Parents. I’m sure there will be other suggestions too. Forget about dating for now. Start with finding some new friends.

If you are in during the day too, listen to the radio. A station with lots of talking like Radio 2. I found that helped during the loneliest times. Might not work for you but worth a try.

Good Luck!

unfortunately havent made any friends down at the school so that’s not really an option. I am not really that outgoing I’ve never really been able to make friends. The only friends I have are from my childhood and we’ve taken very different paths.

I wanted to go out today got all ready and none of the kids wanted to go! Oldest is 8 so they can’t be left alone so that meant couldn’t go anywhere as they would just play up if they were forced to go out.

Me too, I'm married but never socialise and find it difficult to talk to my husband. I am going to start making an effort to restart my hobby and join a local group.
I rarely do the school run but after a lovely night out with the mum's I feel more confident about approaching them when I see them on the school yard.
Do you have any mum friends there are apps like peanut and mush for matching up mum's?

You sound a great mum...the children have lots of things to keep them occupied at home. Can you not find anyone to babysit for one night a week.

Thanks Joopy Will give the apps a try, I’ve heard of mush but never really considered joining so will give it a go.

I dont think you’ll be single forever at 30! How about helping out at school on PTA or something or check out whats going on in area. Can you get time term time job good way to meet people?

Hi OP. In your 1st post you were sad you don't have friends. In your 2nd post you seem to be saying that you are not going to try to make new friends. If you don't try to make new friends, then you won't have any new friends.

I think the best way to make good friends is through work, eg a part-time job or voluntary work - once the children are back at school.

However you can be friendly and socialise with other mums in lots of places. They might be feeling lonely too.

I know it doesn’t come naturally to some
People not you have to try. Invite some
Kids around on a play date. Invite someone round for a coffee. You have to try or nothing will change.

I really have no child care at all so can’t see myself meeting anyone tbh, even when they are all at school how realistic is it to only date during school hours. I will be single till at least in my 40s I suppose when they can be left home alone. I just find being a single mum so desperately lonely. I would love to have friends but I just am not a natural at making them, I wouldn’t know where to begin like I wouldn’t approach anyone for example, I’ve tried over the years to become friendly with the school mums but it’s never gone further than just a hello in passing. Just don’t know how I’ve ended up so alone.

I'm the same.
Its as if I've somehow fallen out of the loop, and I can't seem to find my way back on.
I would just like one or two friends to knock around with.
I don't particularly want to even go out, except for a coffee and chat, but I've nobody to go with.

Have a look at the website called meetup. There are single parent groups. Can you get a babysitter once a week and join something like a book club?

Totally understand where you are coming from op... I'm a lone parent too & for some of us it can be a very lonely existence.. I have no family locally & a few friends but they are all married with families & nights out are rare (well couldn't even tell you how long ago the last one was).. there are other factors in which this will never change.. work in a small business so no colleagues to befriend & socialise with, live in a little rural village so there's no chance of new people or a man entering my life. There's no hobby clubs or anything to join to broaden my social life. I feel so isolated & desperately lonely that sometimes like this weekend it really effects my mood. In 2 years I'll have to move home for financial reasons so will move to a bigger town & hopefully this will give me an opportunity to broaden my work life & social life..

Some LP thrive with the freedom being single brings others find it really tough. That said all my love, time & attention goes on my children & I hope that shows & will stand them in good stead for the future.

The trick is to find your tribe. People with mutual interests.
How about an allotment? The kids can join in or play in the mud and your allotment neighbours are there too.
Parkrun? The kids’ one is on Sunday mornings, the adult on Saturday, plenty of people come with their kids.
PTA?
Cricket or rugby for the kids, we’ve only ever went for the socialising with the other parents, TBH.
I’ve spent 11 years by the side of the pool on Saturday mornings while DD had leasons. I made friends, from time to time we stopped for brunch afterwards.

My DD is a teenager, she’ll take a 5er for sitting on your sofa browsing the internet while you go to a book club once a month.

It’s not a problem. But perhaps first and foremost you could start by loving and being kind to yourself. Why so harsh?