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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Am I being selfish for low libido

17 replies

Redfronts · 03/08/2019 16:57

Been together 15 yrs. Sex life always been great but last few weeks my libido has just gone. We had a close family member die and it’s jusf set me off. I’ve tried to dress up etc to get in the mood. I tried last night and I just couldn’t get into the mood. This has been going on for a few weeks. Today he is furious and is saying I’m selfish and I don’t care about his needs. That he’s been carrying me for the last 15 yrs and I’m talking crap. I dont know what to say. I feel like he isn’t caring about my emotions. Every time I try to have an adult conversation about it he walks off

OP posts:

FelixFelicis6 · 03/08/2019 17:00

He sounds like a dick. How horrible. You’re allowed not to have sex if you don’t fancy it.

LeekMunchingSheepShagger · 03/08/2019 17:01

Well he's a massive twat isn't he? He's the one being selfish.

category12 · 03/08/2019 17:03

Crikey, isn't he sexy, guilting you and getting into a rage? How you can keep your hands off him, I don't know.

What's the rest of the relationship like? Is he usually an abusive, manipulative shite?

Original poster

Redfronts · 03/08/2019 17:06

He definitely like to project how he is onto me. If I didn’t care about his feelings I wouldn’t have dress up last night and tried. He kept going in and out for a cigarette which put me off.

OP posts:

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 03/08/2019 17:06

I'm so sorry for your loss

Today he is furious and is saying I’m selfish and I don’t care about his needs. That he’s been carrying me for the last 15 yrs and I’m talking crap.

Yes how selfish of you to withold your body from him to use as a sex toy. LTB seriously, he doesn't care about you/how you feel, he'd be better suited with a blow up doll that he doesn't have to force consent from.

Original poster

Redfronts · 03/08/2019 17:10

We were actual doing it and he stopped for a fag break which just completely deflated me

OP posts:

YouJustDoYou · 03/08/2019 17:13

If he's not careful, his words will make you realise you are there only to fulfil his "needs", with no understanding that there's an actual person behind the vagina. Unless you;ve realised that already, of course.

category12 · 03/08/2019 17:20

Seriously?

CatInADoghouse · 03/08/2019 17:20

Firstly, I'm so sorry for your loss.
Secondly, you are not being selfish! Your 'D' H has absolutely no right to have sex with you. If you don't want to that doesn't make you selfish at all. What an awful man you are married to. He can't expect you to be there to just satisfy his needs. You're not a movie he can just pause to go for a cigarette and then pick up where he left off! He doesn't care about you or your feelings. He's just using your body like a sex toy.

Skittlenommer · 03/08/2019 17:39

Tell him to get in the bin!

He’s being a dick!!

Skittlenommer · 03/08/2019 17:40

We were actual doing it and he stopped for a fag break which just completely deflated me

Well, with a stud like that I’m surprised you could hold back!!

Original poster

Redfronts · 03/08/2019 17:46

He’s not talking to me now and still saying I’m selfish. I asked what we can do to resolve this and he said I don’t know.

OP posts:

Skittlenommer · 03/08/2019 17:55

You could resolve it by kicking him out which is what he deserves! He’s proven one thing, he doesn’t give a shit about your feelings, only his!

Wishihad · 03/08/2019 18:16

He stopped mid sex......for a fag break?

He is the fucking selfish cunt.

How long were you at it? That he needed a cig break?

I would be furious of dp did that.

Fairylea · 03/08/2019 18:21

Wtf! He is a massive arsehole.

A few weeks during such intense stress and bereavement is NOTHING.

I wouldn’t want to sleep with him ever again.

EKGEMS · 03/08/2019 20:42

Firstly you don't apologize because you're not in the wrong,to begin with! He's a jackass!

floppybit · 03/08/2019 21:06

This honestly has to be one of the most depressing things I've ever read.,...
Some people go off sex for years for various reasons and he's fuming with you after only a few weeks, WTF! I don't usually come on here to say anything negative about anyone, but, what a bastard.

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