‘It happens when you least expect it’...am I doomed because I’m looking for it?!

[User2019a]

I really want to settled down and I’m dating and getting out there as much as possible. It isn’t working so far but taking the advice of ‘not expecting it’ seems impossible! I feel as if I will never be able to do that because it’s something I want so much. And yes my life is filled with other things and I have other interests.

Am I doomed because I’m looking for it?

No! Not at all!!! Be clear on what you want and get out there!

Follow your bliss, have fun (sounds like you are!) outside of the dating too.

Hope it happens soon for you

No that’s rubbish. I’ve just read a Paul McKenna book and he says concentrate on what you want most eg money, career, relationship.

Don't overthink it. I went OD, and had messages/conversations without about 200 blokes over a couple of years. I didn't meet anyone, either because of them messing about, forgetting what they'd said last time in blatant contradiction/lies to what they said subsequently, or just spidey senses telling me not to. The first one I met seemed pretty normal, and a bit fat like me, but handsome. Reader, I married him. You have to kiss a lot of frogs, or the OD equivalent, but they are out there. Good luck!

I met someone when I became proactive about it. 10 years of waiting for it to happen didn't work.

I have messaged and spoken to about 50 people since February. Still not found the right one

I’ve been OD over 3 years now! Currently dating someone now but never hold my breath these days...!

It’s shit. I honestly feel like I will never meet anyone. Everyone I have spoken to has been nice. That’s it.

I met my fella online
I’d been on around 300 dates on and off for about 5 years
Was v v jaded and said to my dd that ‘this one is the last one I can’t do this anymore’
I’ve been with him for 4 years now

Following- I feel like you op xx

I feel like there just isn’t someone out there for me. The first few months it was fine. Now I feel like every time I get ready to go out it’s just to sit there for a couple of hours with someone I will never see again.

I think it's fine to want it, and know what you want.
Unfortunately when it gets to the stage of being a bit panicky/desperate that's when it can scare off others as we're meant to be all blase about it (i was single for 5 years).
I think it's at that point that the advice is to focus on other things, join groups, hobbies, interests, not for the purpose of meeting someone but to find something you like doing... and inadvertently may (or may not) meet someone through it, the point being that's not the nation reason you join

No! I went on billions of dates over 4 years. I found a goodun in the end.

Do you mind if I ask how old you are op?

*main reason

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