experiences of a partner with psychosis/paranoia or similar

[helpagirlout123]

has/does any have a partner who suffers with psychotic episodes, paranoia, hallucinations and can tell me their experiences?
I'm getting annoyed now because i'm living with it every day and doing everything i can to get him help and he's being fobbed off with 'anxiety' and anti depressants.
He has psychotic episodes i know he does because rarely but sometimes he goes in a rage (not to me) and his eyes glaze over and he's a different person and he will just not care about what he's doing and after he's made a fool of himself will try and overdose.
I have took him to a&e numerous times and he has therapy, weekly prescription and regular GP appointments but no one listens when i say he is seeing/hearing things because he will say they are there because i'm not there when he hears these things, But the things he's saying is so far away from the truth because i know these people and know full well they wouldn't say the things he's saying they are 'whispering' or 'watching' him from round corners and running away when he looks etc.
Also i know because he has said a few things to me which i know are un true because i didn't do them e.g. why did you go on your phone as soon as i drove off - my phone was in my bag and i didn't go in my bag, he hears me talking when i'm not, he hears bangs/creaks/noises that i don't hear sat right near him, Says people are looking at us then i look and their not.
what the hell can i do he clearly has something other than anxiety!

Psychosis and anxiety can be closely related, and there may be a reluctance to give that label because it has such stigma to it.

Do you know what medication he is taking? That might indicate if they are treating the more severe symptoms. Has he been assessed by a psychiatrist?

I'd consider asking MN to change your thread title and moved to the Mental Health board. You're likely to get people piling in saying "leave the bastard" and the usual responses on here. It sounds like you're asking for advice on getting medical help for your partner for symptoms that you feel are being ignored.

oh yes thanks how do i do that @NoBaggyPants

he is on 20mg citalopram.
He is at the GP today but i'm gutted i can't go i'm thinking of ringing and asking if i can speak to a doctor about him?
no he hasn't seen an actual psychiatrist they have never recommend it but maybe if i ask they will let him, its frustrating because i think when they see him he is so 'normal' but they don't see the other side of him.

Yes he smokes weed, no he won't stop again, yes everyone's tried (me + professionals) to tell him this is not helping but he genuinely thinks he's not ill he just thinks everyone else has it in for him and trying to send him loopy. He stopped for 3 weeks and nothing improved so he figured it must not of been that (i know that's not enough time).

My ex suffered from paranoia and delusions and weed made it much much worse (although it did actually help in one sense as it caused a bad enough paranoid delusional state that he was sectioned and finally got appropriate treatment)

If he won't accept that he is ill there's really not much you can do, he has to accept it and ask for referral to a psychiatrist so that he can be treated properly, otherwise it'll just keep on like this and possibly get worse.

Yes he smokes weed
And there it is.
Honestly, weed can have a terrible impact on some people.
He needs to give it up for more than 3 weeks.
If he won't himself by stopping then there is nothing more you can do.
He's an addict.
His habit comes first.
Do you really want to live your life like this?
Does he hold down a job?
Does he have friends and family?
Do you live together?
Have DC together?

Call his GP.
What I've found is unless your partner gives his permission and it is recorded on his notes, you cannot DISCUSS his health with his GP.
However you can TELL them about what is going on with your partner, what you're seeing, his behaviour. This in turn could lead to a referral to a psychiatrist.
If you're not allowed to talk to the GP, email the surgery instead. FAO the GP re: your partner. I've done this for various family members.
You're seeing him every day so they should take what you're saying very seriously.

thank you @Jocasta2018 i didn't know you could even do that, i will do

Yes. My partner has psychosis, brought on by stress 2 years ago. We tried the doctors, a & e and phoning a private psychiatrist. It was only after he tried to take his life, 'because the voice told him to' that he got proper help. He was sectioned, put on the correct medication and got better.
At first the doctors said anxiety but it was clear to me at the time it was more than that.
I attended every appointment and told them how he was from my point of view. I kept notes of everything he said and believed, pages and pages of stuff that was so far fetched.
Finally, a doctor, a social worker and a nurse were sent round and they spoke to him briefly, then me at length and arranged for him to be sectioned that night.
I would start making notes of everything he says/believes and make an appointment with his doctors with you there.

i'm well aware i need to leave him, but i'm just that sort of person who can't leave someone in that state knowing that i'm the only one that will be able to stop him doing something stupid.

i do have notes of everything so i think i just need to know who is the right person to put my view across to, sounds like at the moment his GP is my best bet. Thanks

HE is the only one who can stop himself doing something stupid.
You are not a MH specialist.
You cannot save him.
He can only save himself.

The reason why Health professionals dont think its anything more is because they know he smokes weed & its the weed that is causing the psychotic episodes. Nothing else they can do.

They know its the weed
You know it's the weed

Your partner may have severe anxiety that causes his psychosis. How do you deal with his psychotic symptoms?
I always made clear to my relative that I totally believed he heard the voices but that I didn't hear them. I never argued with him because the situation is very real to sufferers. If my relative thought we were being followed and eavesdropped on and thought there was a vehicle on the other side of the fence spying on us, I would go for a walk with him and ask him to show it to me. Be gentle and kind. He may still have or develop some insight and be questioning whether he is really hearing the voices etc.

My relative had a psychotic episode totally out of the blue and it was shocking. He was paranoid, hearing voices including threats from neighbours and thought he was being followed by 'the authorities'. He thought CCTV cameras were communicating with him. I was scared but not as terrified as he was.

Looking back he still remembers how he felt and is scared to come off medication in case he relapses.

I made an emergency GP appointment and he did an emergency referral to the local MH team. They saw him later that same day. He was put on anti-psychotics and he stopped hearing voices after just a few days. His paranoia took a little longer to go.

My relative (not my partner) knew what he was hearing but, at the same time, had some insight and realised that, when me and my DP said we couldn't hear those things, he was having a mental breakdown.

He saw a Home Treatment team daily at our home rather than be sectioned and after a month or so saw the local MH unit as an outpatient. Anti-depressants were also prescribed, he had a weekly visit from a CPN, and had psychological therapy (although he had to wait a while for that).

Read upon the NICE guidelines for treatment for psychosis.

I know GPs can issue repeat prescriptions for anti-psychotics but am not sure whether, in the first instance, they have to be prescribed by a psychiatrist. I would say get to the GP TODAY and request an emergency referral to the MH unit. He needs to actually tell a doctor that he is hearing voices or is paranoid and/or delusional to get the anti-psychotics he needs.

Psychosis can be present in a number of MH illnesses including Schitzophrenia, Bipolar disease, anxiety disorders, you can have postpartum psychosis and major depressive disorder. It can be alcohol-induced by binge drinking and is often as a result of taking cannabis. It is far more common than you would think.

Don't delay in getting proper help for your partner. It should not be left untreated and allowed to happen on a daily basis.

Try not to be scared by him. My idea of someone with psychosis was the classic murderer on the rampage with MH issues that you read of in newspapers. Those are psychopaths. My relative is not a psychopath.

People who suffer psychosis are far more likely to be vulnerable to harm from others. My relative is a quiet, gentle person who never raises his voice and is never confrontational, let alone violent. They may be a risk to themselves though.
I suppose if your partner's natural personality is that he is angry or violent then he may display that behaviour when suffering psychosis.

My relative did have a second much lesser episode of psychosis when very anxious on a phased return to work about 18 months later. He suffers with anxiety and had become more and more depressed (compounded by bereavements) but is only on a very low dose anti-psychotic some years later and hasn't had further episodes.

There is hope but you might feel very stressed yourself when dealing with this situation.

This might be, uh, unconventional, but if he smokes weed you may want to research specific strains, dosages, etc. that help with psychosis including adding CBD oil (with THC if you can get a hold of it). Also possibly change supplier and find better quality stuff. Taken in the right way, it's a better medicine than citalopram will ever be. But taken wrong, and it will exaggerate symptoms. There's a lot of research out there. Having said that, I haven't used it myself but know others who have/do and have also read a lot about plant medicine. Remember that weed is legal and used for medical conditions in a lot of places now and is recognised by much of the medical community, just not here in the UK. That doesn't change the facts about it though.

Aside from that, I have been the partner with psychosis and the thing that helped me get better was my partner just listening, comforting me, encouraging me to do new and different things and helping with my self esteem, and he also took me out of a toxic situation at home and we moved into our own place. The bulk of the psychosis got better after I left that place and after that it was mainly anxiety and depression, with few delusions left. Distraction was very important for me at the time, eg, going to nice places, lots of walks, fun and light-hearted stuff. Night time was particularly bad for me so he would hold me and sing to me or play calming music. GPs never helped me ever, they were all crap. I managed instead to see Starfish, a mental health charity, who were a lot more helpful and I had counselling there and was given practical support. Mind are great too.

Practicing mindfulness and meditation was vital for me in recovery, as was exercise. Just some suggestions, and it might be helpful for you to do those with him, too.

i do my absolute best to try and show him that i understand he is unwell, but it's really difficult because its like he focuses all his issues around me, sometimes i feel like if i just go he won't be able to be paranoid because i won't be there, but then i know it will make it worse really,
I do tell him that he is not hearing things all the time and when i can't hear what he hears i say i do know you can hear it but it might not of been there, just like if i'm in the shower i can hear 'mummy' but no ones shouted mummy, he just doesn't understand, he thinks i'm just trying to make him believe he is crazy when that's not what i want i want him to know that he needs help, he listens for 5 minutes looks like he agrees then totally goes against it and no longer listens.
Thank you for all the advice it's been really helpful, He has seen the GP today and said he is referring him to a phyciatrist so a step in the right direction finally.

If he is using cannabis then it is not possible to make a formal diagnosis of psychosis, because it is impossible to disentangle the effects of the cannabis from mental ill-health.

I am dealing with OH who suffers from hallucinations and paranoid delusions. It is frankly a nightmare.

I hope you are able to tackle his drug problem in some way as this is central to the issue. The rest is a red herring - tackle the drug problem as the main priority.

It’s not your job to get him help and take on responsibility for his health. He’s got to help himself. Does he work? Are you linked with house, kids? I think you need to walk away.

@Boikwirm4
"It’s not your job to get him help and take on responsibility for his health. He’s got to help himself. Does he work? Are you linked with house, kids? I think you need to walk away."
It isn't her responsibility but shouldn't we all want to help our fellow human beings? Do we just leave people in psychotic states to get deeper and deeper into illness and let them all kill themselves (which plenty do)?

I couldn't have walked away from my relative when he was psychotic just because his life is his responsibility. He was severely ill, too ill to seek help from a doctor himself.

My relative walked into my home knowing he wanted to talk to me but not knowing what to do with his jacket and bag because he thought they were bugged. He thought a van with surveillance equipment was the other side of my garden fence and I could see he was listening to whatever voices he felt were saying things to him.

It was my responsibility to get him the help he needed when he wasn't in a position to do so himself. That doesn't mean I am taking on his personal responsibility for his life.

It's the same when someone is physically ill and so severely ill that they are past realising they need help.
My BIL was vomiting and thought he needed to go home to rest. My DSis could see there was something more than that so called an ambulance. He was actually having a heart attack for which he underwent surgery.

Sometimes we need help and are past realising it for ourselves, especially when it comes to MH issues. The OP's partner really doesn't realise the effect weed is having on him. He's attempted suicide more than once. He is behaving irrationally and does need someone to get help for him even though he does not realise it.

We all have responsibility to help our fellow man.

I'm not saying the OP should stay with him forever but I do think she has a responsibility to try and get him the right help.