Been with DH for 27 years, married for 20. We are (were?) both the loves of our lives. I still believe that we are.
My DH has never given me any reason to doubt his loyalty to me or any other major drama. We have built a good life together and we have 3 DC.
About 3 years ago I started to feel very unwell, had terrible insomnia, felt really low which I believe was part of being peri-menopausal. I think I put my DH through rather a lot of grief during this time as I spent a lot of my low mood questioning our relationship, thinking I wanted something different and basically not being bothered if he didn't pay me any attention. In the end I tried to sort myself out and have felt a billion times better. Having questioned my relationship I came to the conclusion that actually, yes I do love my DH very, very much.
The downside of this though is that now I feel so very sad that our relationship has changed from what it was in the early years which was very passionate, best friends, total solidarity and focused on what we want. With nearly 30 years under our belt and 3 DC it is more about work and the DC.
I think that marriage takes a lot of work and I am prepared to do it. What I need to know from LTR women is, is this normal? Is this what your relationship is meant to look like? At 50 I think everyone else is having a loving, regularly intimate relationship where their DH kisses and cuddles them all night long and beings flowers once a week. Deep down I'm worried that my DH will turn around one day and tell me that there is something missing. I just wish I could stop worrying about stuff that may never happen.
So, those long term married, tell me about the ups and downs. Perhaps I am just struggling to come to terms with how my relationship is changing when it is perfectly normal. Perhaps I am comparing it to friends relationships which seem so energised but the thing they all have in common is that they are their 2nd DH of less than a few years.