Not sure what to do or think

[Rainbows425]

Just looking for some perspective and don’t really want to tell friends.

Last year I had a mc (already have DD age 3) and after that really drifted apart from DH. He went to the pub a lot and we were quite distant. I fell pregnant again despite hardly dtd and baby was born in April. I’m so happy but over the past month or so DH has seemed a bit distant again.

Last weekend I went to bed and he stayed up watching tv and had a few drinks. He fell asleep on the sofa and when I went down around 2am I couldn’t wake him. Decided to leave him to it and get some rest. I’m not sure what came over me but I picked up his phone and unlocked it. It opened on the screen of a chain of messages between him and his colleague. It started off with friendly chat but then they both obviously had some drinks and it became flirty then very explicit. I was shocked to learn they had clearly been intimate in the past, because they were referring to things they had done and saying things like “I wish you could.. right now”. She is also married and I’ve never met her but she is mentioned when he talks about work. I’ve never suspected anything before but now I can’t figure out if it was drunken flirting that got out of hand or if they actually want to meet up.

I know I shouldn’t have looked and that’s exactly what he’ll say if I bring it up. Help.

The looking should be the least of his and your problems. He's cheated on you for god sakes? He must be a controlling bastard if that's your concern.
Screen shot everything and ltb. In this situation there's no other option.

@Sadiesnakes thanks for your reply. I should have said the messages made it clear they were intimate when they were younger (a long time ago), so not sure he has cheated. I guess I need to talk to him and see what’s going on.

What's came over you is something in his behaviour triggered your suspicion.
He will say you shouldn't have looked but what you've found is worse than looking. He might give you a hard time for looking because that will be his default to deflect, apologise & stick to your guns! Your suspicion was confirmed. Drunken flirting or wanting to meet up, they're not much different. There's intention there. Those kinds of messages are not on he's not single & neither is she. Especially when there's a history.
He could be mortified about doing it, just see how he deals with it over the days following the conversation about it.

Well it's still cheating, albeit emotional. Advice still the same, controlling cheating prick, bin him.

He was flirting and sexting with a colleague/former lover. Drinking is no excuse. Sexting is cheating.

Confront him and don’t allow him to shift the blame to you for snooping. He has been distant, and your need to know what is going on trumped his privacy.