Following on from my PP regarding family separation following my daughters disclosure of abuse.
I briefly mentioned my relationship with DP. I need to get this out.
I’m lost and don’t know if it’s worth holding on anymore.
Myself and DP split for 3 years some time ago (got back together and has been 2 years since reconciliation) however things are going downhill again. DP struggled with a binging cocaine addiction - wasn’t frequent but bad when he did. His come downs and shitty behaviour was too much and I walked.
After a lot of separate counselling and long time being separated things seemed to be going well for us both in our lives and after much thought we thought we’d give it another go.
We have 2 DD’s together.
Our daughter disclosed last year that she was being Sexually abused by my brother and as you can imagine our lives have spun out of control. The addiction is creeping back in, he’s gone back to being lazy & doesn’t pull his weight round the house despite working all day. He can’t do a full week at work and just wants to sleep all the time or sits on his phone.
His attitude & behaviour is just shitty and I can’t deal with it.
He doesn’t help with the kids & I’m left to deal with it all whilst working PT, studying a degree and having 2 DC.
Financially we are rocky and he’s recently started to get out bloody pay day loans.
All of this on paper sounds awful I know... but before our daughters disclosure we were fine.
Resentment, hate and lack of intimacy has crept in to our relationship again and I don’t know what to do.
I know you’re all going to say LTB, it’s hard to be understanding when you read all of the above. I do see him as a man that’s desperately struggling but nothing seems to motivate him anymore and I mean nothing!
He’s on anti-d’s and had his first counselling session yesterday (first one since disclosure) and he came home saying he didn’t want to go back... classic avoidance I know!!
We should be giving our daughter safety and security. instead our home isn’t a very nice environment right now, regardless of how much I try to keep a lid on this shit.
The more I talk about it, the more miserable I become that’s he’s just letting me down all over again. No amount of talking to him is helping and our communication has become very passive aggressive towards each other.
Please help.
Am I being too hard or is enough enough?