I met my partner 5 years ago, he had nothing, he had came from a bad relationship. I helped him build a business with what little savings I had, (which was put away for my kids future!) from then he kept borrowing more but not paying back, and I was soft because I felt so sorry for him.
I had also been in bad a relationship, and he seemed so nice! But very quickly he became controlling but in a clever way, gradually I stopped leaving the house or seeing family & friends because it wasn't worth the hassle. After about 2 years he left me because I was very depressed & borderline suicide, I think it was a mixture of my past relationships & him.
Anyway when he left, I already had no family or friends left, I had my kids but I'd had it drummed in to my head by him & my kids dad that I was this horrible person & didn't deserve my kids, so I sent my kids off to their grandparents, id been ordering pain killers in the shopping for weeks, it was planned & I overdosed. He new how low I was and that I always replied to his texts begging him back, he found me several hours later lying in my own vomit, I remember hearing sirens, I was pretty out of it. I spent two weeks in hospital, doctors said it was the highest level they'd ever seen in anyone's blood that's actually survived! Mental health professionals told me I was being mentally abused, and used, I was so besotted by him, I could see what they ment and how he had been the one to push me over the edge by being this manipulative but amazing loving person!
When I left hospital I still begged him to come back, even though he had never came to the hospital to see me and had started a new relationship. There wasn't really alot of aftercare help. I had been in this house for 2 years, he'd done everything for me that involved going out, my anxiety was 10 times worse than it was in the first place.
When he came back I let him move in and it was so much worse, he had lost his dad 3 weeks earlier so he was grieving & he was seeing this girl behind my back, he was horrible to me & my kids, it took me 6 month to leave him. He had told me not to tell my friend about the overdose, but when I left him I did! She was so upset I hadn't turned to her!!! We had a night out & he didn't like it, came back begging me back for once!! Just like my friend said he would. And again I took him back, he was lovely! A real changed man! I was seeing my friend ext, then he started taking me & the kids out loads, so much that the contact with my friend stopped all together, I havnt spoken to her in nearly 3 years. This past year things have became bad again, he's never here, constantly works 7 days a week, but he doesn't provide for us, he will pay his own fuel if we go out or buy us a take out but doesn't help me with bills, or shopping, he lets me struggle, my savings are gone. He doesn't help with the house work & doesn't have much to do with my kids, they will tell him he loves them n he will say "your a nice kid"? Or I like you.... how can he show no love to children after 5 years in their life, my son was 6 months old when we met! My daughter was 3 years.
My daughter lies alot, and pretty much acts exactly like him! He has 3 kids of his own, he only like the one that he isn't aloud to see, he doesn't bother the other two. He has 3 kids with 3 different woman, which were all in the space of 3 and a half years!!
He doesn't have much self care, he walks about quite scruffily, and me & my kids are the total oposite, I am a nag, I am very moody at times, but isn't that just woman? He blames everything on me, takes no responsibility for his own actions, he genuinely thinks he's the nicest person ever, he's never off his phone, can't get a conversation out of him unless he's slagging someone off. But then when he sees them he's their best friend, everyone loves him, but I question what is the real him, this person that he is outside? Funny, outgoing, friendly, always happy to help anyone... or the inside person, huffy, lazy, snappy, but very loving towards me...
This is what I'm so confused about!! How can he have so much love for me but act the way he has over all these years?! Is he just a very very clever man? Is he deep down a nice person that's made an awful lot of mistakes??
He will constantly pull me up on things infront of my kids, I do try to ignore him but he goes at me untill I flip, then he makes me out to be the bad one, I'm so sick of my kids hearing arguments, they argue alot because they are so used to us fighting.
If I'm in a mood over something he's done, or not done! He will try to cuddle me ext & if I don't respond he will going on at me, he genuinely believes he's done everything for me & given me everything, paid for everything when in reality he hasn't. I'm now starting to think he's only so loving so he can worm his way out of me having a nag at him.
He's told me all of his friends and family think I'm a nightmare, and I'm the problem. But that's obviously down to his side of the storey, I'm not innocent in any of this, nor do I claim to be, but all I wanted was him to love my kids & help me physically & financially.
Anyway, the whole point to this is we split up yesterday, and I don't know if there's any going back from this. I'd love other people's opinions, I don't have many people to talk to, but the people that I've told have told me he's always been a sponger & they think he treats me like crap.
Please be kind xx