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Relationships

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Original poster

Is it okay that bf ‘likes’ his ex gfs instagram pics?

32 replies

Mooninthesky · 31/07/2019 08:05

A bit of background info ... My bf and me have recently linked up on Instagram. I’m not really into it but he’s a keen photographer as was his ex gf so I’ve seen that they both post photos of scenes (and not people or themselves).

The thing is that a few weeks ago I asked bf of 10 months if he had any contact with ex gf. He said that he didn’t. I’ve now seen that they ‘like’ each other’s photos so in my mind he’s not exactly told the truth.

I’ve not said anything to him but feel hurt that he wasn’t honest with me. Then on the other hand maybe he doesn’t see that as having contact.

I don’t have a problem with him having contact but I do have a problem with him not telling the truth.

Do you think I ought to ask him about it or just ignore it?

Thank you 😊

OP posts:

ElizabethMainwaring · 31/07/2019 08:07

Ignore it.

Skyejuly · 31/07/2019 08:08

I wouldnt like the lies either. X

Pineapplefish · 31/07/2019 08:10

I wouldn't count this as contact - to me contact means meeting up or talking to each other on the phone, so I don't think he has lied to you.

LemonTT · 31/07/2019 08:13

I wouldn’t see it as contact. So it is probably a grey area. But if you do clarify it with him.

LolaSmiles · 31/07/2019 08:16

Liking photos isn't having contact with her. It's liking a photo.

I think you need to chill out.

DarkestBeforeTheDawn4 · 31/07/2019 08:19

I wouldn't think of liking photos as contact, so it wouldn't be a lie for me. He probably didn't even think of it in that context.

ShatnersWig · 31/07/2019 08:25

Sorry, I wouldn't class that as contact either.

PaterPower · 31/07/2019 08:32

I “like” pics some of my ex colleagues have put up from time to time. Other than the likes I haven’t chatted to them, IMd them or met them since my workplace closed down.

I wouldn’t say I was in contact with them, if asked, although I guess you could stretch “contact” to mean any kind of interaction or even just having the ability (ie contact details) to call/chat etc.

IMO you’re overthinking this.

Postmanplod67 · 31/07/2019 08:33

Not contact that. Just an appreciation of a photo from 2 people with a shared interest.

I’d let it go as it’s not a big deal

Original poster

Mooninthesky · 31/07/2019 08:34

Thanks for your comments. I guess we’re all different as when my ex and I ended our relationship we ‘defriended’ each other on Facebook, as we thought that was the right thing to do so that we could both move on. Appreciate your advice 😁

OP posts:

unknownn · 31/07/2019 08:39

Not going to lie, i disagree with all. I would want my boyfriend to rid of her on anything. If hes liking her photos then they are friends on there, all it takes is for him to comment on her photo, her reply, and then all the feelings can come rushing back. Of course thats an extreme case, but it happens, and it happened to me, hence why i'm not as chill as the others on here lol. Why is he interested in her life or photos anyway.
But obviously it all depends on the situtation, if you have the same friendship group and see eachother around sometimes then it wouldnt be so bad.

merlotqueen · 31/07/2019 08:40

Are they photos of her (not good) or photos she has taken (ok) ?

ShatnersWig · 31/07/2019 08:42

Why is he interested in her life or photos anyway.

He's not interested in her life. The OP has clearly stated that the ex only posts photos of scenes (ie, her photography), not of herself or other people in her life. And nor does her partner. They are keen photographers and like most keen photographers, their Instagrams are merely online galleries to post and share their photography for other people to see. It is no more, no less.

Fluffynoon · 31/07/2019 08:42

It's not 'contact' unless they are also sending messages to each other.

I wouldn't give it another thought. If this is the extent of the problems then that's great, perhaps this jealously is the tip of the ice burg as seems very OTT to me?

ShatnersWig · 31/07/2019 08:43

Are they photos of her (not good) or photos she has taken (ok)?

The OP actually states this in the second and third lines of her posting! I didn't think it was that long not to read it all....

Original poster

Mooninthesky · 31/07/2019 08:44

They are photos she’s taken and not OF her. She’s not from the UK and bf told me she moved overseas when they split. That’s why they split ... he didn’t want to leave his ds in UK with his ex wife

OP posts:

PaterPower · 31/07/2019 08:59

“all it takes is for him to comment on her photo, her reply, and then all the feelings can come rushing back”

Well if that’s ALL that it would take then the relationship in question wouldn’t be all that great and better (IMO) that it finished anyway! Policing contacts is not the sign, or guarantee, of a healthy partnership.

StrawberryTot · 31/07/2019 09:01

I have to agree that I don’t think it’s contact, and would ignore it. If he was meeting up/ chatting then I’d be inclined to ask.

FlossieTeacakesFurCoat18 · 31/07/2019 09:09

I'm quite a jealous person but I would actually be ok with this! Clicking "like" is something most of us do without giving it much thought. Unless he never likes any other pics on instagram but singles hers out for attention I think that's fine, I wouldn't consider it contact either. If you bring it up that he "lied" I think you'd sound a bit bonkers.

JonnyPocketRocket · 31/07/2019 09:20

That's not contact in my mind.
But I also don't understand the need to cut off all contact with exes. I think the ability to maintain civil relationships with people you've fallen out with, or with whom your relationship has changed, is healthy and mature. I have one ex whose new gf asked me to cut all ties, which I respected, and one abusive ex who it would have been unsafe and unwise to stay in touch with. But mostly we're in friendly but peripheral contact - a text to say happy birthday or if we're passing through each other's part of the world, a facebook message to congratulate on big news like a new baby or wedding. Same with DH. We've been happily married for 10 years.

KylieKoKo · 31/07/2019 09:39

I sometimes "like" pretty photos without looking at who posted them. Its easy to do on Instagram

ImMeantToBeWorking · 31/07/2019 12:13

I "like" loads of peoples photos on insta or facebook. People I have not had contact with in months/years. If DP asked me was I in touch with one of these people I would say no, as I am not. If it was pics of the ex he was liking I would be pissed off, but not if it is her work.

loveyoutothemoon · 31/07/2019 14:15

I wouldn't count liking someone's photo's as contact either.

LolaSmiles · 31/07/2019 15:40

Policing contacts is not the sign, or guarantee, of a healthy partnership.
I agree.
You either trust someone or you don't trust them.
You either share the same boundaries or you don't.

Personally I would run for the hills if any new partner felt they could decide my friends and who I have contact with. Other people are quite happy having rules and cutting contact with people.

Drogosnextwife · 31/07/2019 16:04

If she was in the photos, I would have a problem with it. I see where you are coming from though.

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