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Original poster

Dating for 8 months - where is this going?

9 replies

Marylou01 · 30/07/2019 20:48

Hi
Haven’t been on here for a v long time but desperate for some advice...
I’ve been separated for well over a year now with our six year old spending 50/50 time with both me and his Dad.
I’ve been seeing someone for 8 months who I am v much in love with, he has briefly met my son a couple of times but I have never met his daughter who he sees most weekends,
We split up (for 2 days!) about a month ago as he said he just wasn’t sure where we were going - but we then got back together.
I am struggling to get past this and really need to feel like he wants me in his life moving forward and for me that includes meeting his daughter.
Am I being unreasonable here?
All thoughts appreciated!

OP posts:
NewMe2019 · 30/07/2019 20:53

Who initiated getting back together and what were the reasons?

Original poster
Marylou01 · 30/07/2019 20:57

We were chatting and he suggested we stick to a date we had planned just to meet up as friends and on the date he suggested it saying he missed me and thought he’d made a mistake

OP posts:
JK1773 · 30/07/2019 20:58

I was with my ex for about a year and never met his children. You’ve both got to be 100% sure of the relationship to take that step. I don’t think either of us were. Maybe give it longer and see what develops. Or if his heart is not in it walk away

Original poster
Marylou01 · 30/07/2019 20:59

Just to add... it was my birthday today - I went to his last night and he cooked me a wonderful meal and (v unexpectedly),,produced a lovely card and present and was being extremely affectionate

OP posts:
Ginger1982 · 30/07/2019 21:09

Just because you feel comfortable allowing him to meet your son doesn't mean he feels comfortable allowing you to meet his daughter yet. Most people seem to say that you should wait a year or so and it probably depends on how old his daughter is. Why not just ask him?

Original poster
Marylou01 · 30/07/2019 21:14

Thanks Ginger - I think I’m locking on to meeting his daughter and a signifier of how he feels about me...she’s 13 and he did tell me that there had been difficulties in the past about him meeting someone he was dating...just feels to me that 8 months in he should be starting to know how he feels about me moving forward...

OP posts:
Ginger1982 · 30/07/2019 21:37

Sounds like he's just being cautious and putting her first - as it should be. I'm sure if you just have a chat about it you'll both be able to get on the same page.

baileys6904 · 30/07/2019 21:48

I've been with my other half for 7 years now, and split from my DS dad 12 years (he was 20 months when we split) I didnt have him meet my son for, jeez must be at least couple of years. I liked that my time with my son was my time bonding and no outside interruptions. I did my mum role separately to my 'lover' role. My son knew he was the priority and as such it has been an easy transition and family merge. Teenage years are tricky without introducing a new partner and it's not necessarily a reflection on the relationship

EileenAlanna · 30/07/2019 22:12

You got with your bf only around 4 months after you split with your DH/DP. I think you're moving far too quickly.

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