He didn't like his medicine

[666onmyhead]

Just updated our phone contracts on the app today. As I was doing it I was telling him what option I was picking and what it meant re our bill . I've saved us a considerable amount per month.

So about an hour later he comes in and says the phone company have sent him about five texts and what have I done ...

For context, if he organises something that affects me too, he generally doesn't tell me as he's doing it. If he does tell me afterwards and I forget the details and ask 'again' he talks to me like I'm some sort of moron.

So I decided to do the same to him . He didn't like it and has now gone off in a sulk .

So now I'm going to get the silent treatment for days . Well I guess at least I get to watch what I want on tv !

Why are men such twats when it comes to us doing to them what they do to us ?

Erm I’d be more concerned about the silent treatment for days.

Not all men do that, probably most decent ones don’t. Are you happy op?

That sounds a healthy relationship.

This doesn't sound good. Less of a happy partnership and more one-upmanship.

I'm not sure I could direct this sort of thing at some one else, even out of bitterness. Were you like this before, or have you learned it from your partner? If so, do you think this is the best thing for you?

It's the first time I've done it. I'm normally a people pleaser and introvert.

Did he understand what you were doing?

Well I did say. So hopefully it's sinking in that it's not nice when someone does that.

( i gave a specific example )

Is this the very tip of the iceberg?

He won't learn his lesson; in his mind he is always justified and you never are. He'll just get the hump and punish you for daring to treat him the same way. LTB

I would recommend direct and clear communication over passive aggressive tactics op.

Do you generally find it difficult to discuss things with him?

Generally he's ok. A bit moody.

Doesn't like repeating himself, hence the tendency to treat me like I'm stupid if I can't have total recall /remember whatever it was, after the first time he told me .

He's used to being a 'big boss' at his work if that is maybe relevant.

The example I gave him related to travel plans in a county he's familia with ( I'm not) and he actually gave me an itinerary before bed . So maybe it's sunk in a little ?

Sulking/silent treatment for days is emotionally abusive.

This isn’t a problem with “men”, it’s the man you’re living with.

Think very, very carefully about the future, eg having DC, with someone who behaves like thisZ

Takes decisions about things that affect you and implements them without consulting you.
Speaks to you condescendingly. Browbeats.
Moody.
Silent treatment.

Gosh, reading back as if I was reading someone else's thread my immediate reaction is LTB !

But I have been with him a long time and I don't quite know how I'd go about leaving... he does have a good side too. But maybe that doesn't make as much of an impact as the smarting sting I get from the not so nice side.
I think I'm going to start keeping a diary of both good and bad. Might be a fair way to evaluate just how much crap I'm putting up with . As this coming year could be a good place to start easing out, as we might be selling /relocating and rejigiging investments etc.

Even the most abusive men are nice sometimes.

He had a 'good side' does he? is that when things are going his way?

Just get rid, life's too short to be sharing it with a dickhead.