Feeling sad because I think I have to pick myself up again

[burninglikefire]

Hi,

I hope this isn't a frustrating post to read because I don't want to give too many details. In summary, I left a very controlling marriage of over 25 years about 5 years ago, once all my children were grown up and independent. Still not divorced for a variety of complicated reasons.

Unexpectedly met someone completely different to my husband approx 4 years ago. Have come to realise that he and I want different things from the relationship - I feel desperately hurt and disappointed and angry with myself for getting so close to someone else again. Think I am going to have to finish things.

I can pick myself up again, but it is, so, so hard. Going to try and use this as a prompt to get some counselling. Would love to hear from people who have got through this sort of situation.

Married for 15 years which ended with her affair then another 10 year relationship that fizzled out a year ago. Since then I have started dating again, met a fabulous woman and am genuinely happy.

It is hard but can be worth it. Do not be disappointed and angry with yourself for getting close again, for me that's what life is about.

Decide what you want, we can be relatively selfish at this stage in our lives and try to achieve that, the old cliche "life is too short" is so true.

If this relationship is not working then unfortunately unless you are prepared to compromise or will be content with not gaining what you need then it is time to go.

The good news is that it's quite fun out here :)

Good luck.

Thank you for this positive response . I know I am just feeling sad and sorry for myself atm.

Your comment that if the relationship isn't working then it is time to go is exactly what I am thinking - I have already compromised a fair bit and have reached my limit.

Unfortunately, I won't be seeing my partner for a couple of weeks (overseas) and think it is better to end things face to face.