Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

very nasty thing to say

45 replies

emeraldisle91 · 30/07/2019 01:32

Hi just looking for opinions really as I can be dramatic and perhaps over-sensitive but this comment really bothered me. Me and my partner had a minor disagreement yesterday it was so silly, I like bottled water & wanted to pop to the shop (we were passing one) now he ALWAYS says 'there's a tap at home where it's free' Hmm if i buy bottled water. I just couldn't be arsed to listen to him prattling on so I just walked off. This really pissed him off & he caught up to me & said ' your asking for a slap'
I was / am completely shocked. What do you think I should do or say? TIA

OP posts:
Original poster
emeraldisle91 · 31/07/2019 18:27

I discussed this with him yesterday and he keeps playing it down and making out it wasn't said 'with malice' I said threats of violence are not acceptable
I finished with him last night but he is refusing to leave and I have no family nearby

OP posts:
InTheHeatofLisbon · 31/07/2019 18:31

Is he on the tenancy/mortgage?

If not you can make him leave.

What he said was a horrible thing to say in any situation, but a MASSIVE overreaction to a minor issue that he caused.

I'm glad you've finished with him, he sounds like he doesn't get it.

BlueMoon1103 · 31/07/2019 18:45

*You sound as bad as each other. Threat of violence is never acceptable but walking off because you think he's 'prattling' is unacceptable too.

YABU for littering the planet with plastic bottles.*

You should be ashamed. You’re commenting that when the OP is potentially at risk of domestic abuse, all you’re thinking about is plastic pollution?! If I had a partner who said that to me they’d be single, that’s a totally unacceptable thing to say!

Drink as much bottled water as you want.

Frith2013 · 31/07/2019 19:45

Leave him.

Frith2013 · 31/07/2019 19:47

Sorry, cross post.

If he won’t go, I’d phone the police for advice.

Pinkarsedfly · 31/07/2019 19:49

I don’t know of many 70 year olds who would say ‘you’re asking for a slap’, tbh.

Anyway, I won’t get distracted by the ageism. Again.

OP, he sounds dreadful. Leave the twat.

Jiggles101 · 31/07/2019 19:57

It's a shitty thing to say but please just buy a refillable bottle, there's really no need to keep buying plastic!

sue51 · 31/07/2019 19:58

I'm pushing 70 and DH is over 70. It most definitely not something he would say.
As your partner has caused bruising before and considers this normal behaviour, I would report him to the police for threatening behaviour. Maybe see if you can get an injunction. You need to keep him away from you.

Wearenotyourkind · 31/07/2019 20:01

This is not okay! Unacceptable and disproportionate response to the situation.

MitziK · 31/07/2019 20:41

Make sure that you tell the police that you have told him to leave because he threatened you (having previously hurt you in several occasions and denied it happening/said it was 'playing') and is refusing to do so.

Mary1935 · 31/07/2019 20:49

Hope your ok OP. Is he on the tenancy agreement?

AlexaAmbidextra · 31/07/2019 21:17

Both of these statements sound like something a 70 year old would say.

Really? Not any of the 70 year olds that I know. Just love the casual ageism that so often rears it’s ugly head on this site. 🙄

MotherofDogs3 · 31/07/2019 21:50

I can understand the need to be annoyed/upset if he said it in a threatening way? Or was it in a playful way? When my partner winds me up i always jokingly say "il knock you out in a minute" and he says ti me messing around that he will "kick me up the ass if i carry on" we have been together 4 years and never been physically abusive to each other and never will be. Its just figure of speach! Yes of course if he really said it in an abusive threatening way then obviously id say leave and get away while you can...but not if its the way i just described.

Original poster
emeraldisle91 · 01/08/2019 01:34

Yeah he is the lead tenant and pays more than me, I'm staying in a hotel, had to get away from him maybe this will make him realise I mean what I say when I'm ending our relationship. Whenever I brought it up about how we're over he just overrides me and says 'don't be ridiculous, we're not breaking up over something silly like this'
He has apologised but then follows it up with saying I took it the wrong way!
motherofdogs3 I have replayed it over in my head to see if I have taken a joke out of context but it was said with venom and his tone was aggressive

OP posts:
WigglyWong · 01/08/2019 01:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

chickenyhead · 01/08/2019 01:48

I would have replied, quietly, "everybody needs to sleep sometime....."

Are you pregnant OP? DV often escalates during pregnancy.

Look after yourself x

Brain06626 · 01/08/2019 01:52

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 01/08/2019 05:33

There's not really a "right" way to take the comment other than "you're threatening to hit me if I don't do what you say". That's it.

Glad you've left - hope you've got everything you care about with you, and make sure you take someone with you when you go back to get your stuff.

Anniegetyourgun · 01/08/2019 05:38

He doesn't get to decide whether you break up with him or not.

GADDay · 01/08/2019 05:46

He sounds like a dick. Threatening a slap, is NEVER ok.

As an aside, could you swap to a reusable bottle. Cost aside, single use bottles are really rubbish for the environment (no pun intended).

New posts on this thread. Refresh page