Suicidal Ex

[Curiousmum69]

Evening everyone,

I'm after some advice. My Ex is a major depressive and I stayed for many years despite being very unhappy as I was so worried about his reaction. I left once before and he just couldn't pull himself together and I couldn't bear to see the children watch what he was going through.

Anyway I finally got the courage to leave 3 months ago. Yet he's still so bad. Barely managing to eat/sleep/work constant messages of despair. Is barely managing to see the youngest for half an hour. And is placing way way too much emotional reliance on our 18 year old, whom already has her own mental health issues.

Anyway, there is no way I can go back. I know I've made the right choice. But I really don't want the father of my children to kill himself, I don't esspecially want them to see him like this.

He's not specifically saying he will kill himself, so I don't feel it's a threat.

Any advice on how to deal with this without the guilt eating me up.

No one :(

Oh OP I am so sorry. He isnt your responsibility though protect yourself and your children

My ex was like this, and he actually did attempt, but he cant hold me to ransom like that.
He is still depressed but is also an alcoholic so all related. I'm still far more involved in his life than I would like to be, but am much happier not living with him. Small steps.

My exH "attempted" it 3 times. He didnt want to die, he just wanted to control me. Threatening suicide is manipulative and vile, and has contributed greatly to me no longer caring whether he lives or dies.

He should not be allowed to dump his issues onto the children either. Is your daughter getting her own help?

He’s not your responsibility. Tell him to see his GP and if he won’t that’s on him. If he actually threatens to hurt himself call the police and ask for a welfare check.

I don’t think he should be seeing his children at the moment.

Profect your daughter from him. THAT’s your focus.

He is seeing mental health services. So is getting the support.

I've tried to protect my daughter. But she feels like she has to reach out to him.

Thank you for suggesting the welfare check. I didn't know that was a thing. I will use that next time I get streams of text messages.

He's only having short supervised (at my mum's house with my mum) visits with the youngest (10). I already realised that anything more was too much.

I didn't realise watching the fall out would be so hard. I don't think it's about control. I think I just always did everything for him and was his safety net I guess. So I feel like I'm being so selfish in searching for my own happieness.

heartyrebel

I think that is what I'm going to have to do. I am genuinely scared that if I remove all contact or. Walk away. He will kill himself.