Daughter and her 21st

[lissylou14]

Hi all I'm new to mums net I need advice and thought this the best place to come.
My problem is I have a daughter who is 21 in november we have had trouble with her for the last few years regarding her use of cocaine . To cut a long story short we have been to hell and back she promises shes off it but I know different. She is on good money and has never got anything to show for it. Shes currently attending counselling but has gone out and used over the weekend. It's just constant drama with her I'm getting phone calls at all hours she arguing or fighting with someone but it's never her fault ! I have paid off her debts (I wont do it now ) I have took her to the doctors you name it I've done it . She promises she wont touch it . Tells me she hasn't then I find out she has.
Anyway at a point where age was doing well (so I thought) I booked a 21st party for her at a local function room it's not going to be a cheap do . Probably costing around the £500 mark. Thing is shes still lying to me and taking the drugs. I dont believe I should pay for her a party and use our hard earned money when she continues her behaviour. I have 2 other children aged 15 and 4 and her behaviour is effecting the whole household. I work hard I dont earn a lot I just dont think she deserves it. What would you do ?

I'd cancel the party.

I wouldn't do it. As hurtful as it is, I just think she'd be off her face at the party, she won't appreciate it and I'd explain to her you have 2 other children to bring up too.
It's hard but just be as cut off and calculated as she appears to be.
Still celebrate the 21st with a cake etc but forget the party

Turn the party into an intervention. Harsh, but sounds necessary.

I wish you and your daughter well. Addiction is horrible for the addict, and my heart goes out to them, but the wider effects on family and friends are dire.