Need to vent

[Mummy88UK]

Hello,
I guess I am after some advice as well as desperately needing to vent....
I am Married (coming up to 8 Years). We have a 6 Year Old Son and I am 39 Weeks Pregnant with our Second.
There is a LOT of friction between My Husband and I. I believe it is because My Husband wants our Son circumcised, this is in his beliefs but not mine. There is no reasoning with him and every time he mentions it now I don't get into a conversation with him, this is because I can't speak to him about my concerns and he will not accept that I want it to be our Son's decision when he is old enough to decide (our Son has no idea about any of this and he wouldn't understand).

Anyway, as this is going on My Husband's attitude as a whole has changed and it is getting worse and worse. As previously mentioned I am 39 Weeks Pregnant, I don't want to be dealing with his selfishness now and I don't have the energy to argue it out with him. I finished work just over a week ago to start My Maternity Leave. Up until then I was working full time, (he also works full time) as well as cooking cleaning and everything and anything else that needed doing. He will barely lift a finger, I wasn't sitting down to relax until 2100 after getting up at 0600 and and off to work. Although I am getting a bit more rest during the day now that I have finished work I feel I have just about enough now. His attitude is terrible, the odd job I can't do such as empty the kitchen bin (as it's too heavy) I have to ask him to do and all I get is a sigh! He will leave dishes for me to clean up all day long. The most upsetting part is, he will not ask how I am feeling ever, he will not touch My Bump let alone talk to Bump. He will not offer his help at anything.
I cry going to sleep nearly every night, I am just so Fed up of him making me feel like this, I am being as strong as I can for our Son and of course for our Little One who is soon to enter the World. I have no support from him whatsoever. I have support from My Parents they go above and beyond for us. They know about the situation but I can't keep putting onto them. They are in their late 60s and I don't want to stress them out with My Problems. I have no close friends I could turn to. I just feel I have no support right now. I am a crying mess. I just want some advice, please..... I have tried talking to Husband but it doesn't work. It doesn't seem to care how upset he makes me.

I feel like I just want to pack him a case and tell him to leave. But I can't do this as it will effect our Son and I fear he will never forgive me if I ask his Dad to leave. I don't know if I would just be doing this because of My hormones, and then there's also the the presence of him at the Birth

He sounds a right keeper. Is it possible he doesn't have any role models for men helping out in the house. I know someone whose DH was out from dawn to dusk and wouldn't dream of helping out at home. But it made a difference once she pointed it out and gave him some instructions.

I can't help on the other problem - did you discuss what in what religion/culture you were going to bring up any boys?

"I feel like I just want to pack him a case and tell him to leave. But I can't do this as it will effect our Son and I fear he will never forgive me if I ask his Dad to leave".

No your son won't hate you for leaving his awful father figure. What sort of father is he to his child anyway?. Let alone his soon to be born younger brother or sister who he is already not acknowledging?. He is a rubbish husband to you and I daresay a rubbish example of a parent to him also.

What do you want to teach your son and your as yet unborn child about relationships here?. What will they learn from you if you choose to stay, staying for the kids is rarely if ever a good idea and you cannot stay with your dad merely because of them. You also model the relationship to your son here; is this really how you want him to view women, for them to be treated like second class citizens whilst his dad as the male does nothing to help his wife and treats her badly?. Please keep on talking to your parents, they will continue to support you. If you really do not want to do that then at the very least talk to your GP and midwives. Would you also talk to Womens Aid too?.

There has been a plethora of articles in the MSM about Male Genital Mutilation recently. Many boys who undergo this cruel practice in the name of "God" end up with permanent pain, one of the articles I read was about a young man who killed himself over it.

Female Genital Mutilation has made the press a lot too over the last few years but it seems we are now, as a society, focussing on the boys that this happens to.

It is not natural to cut up a child's penis because some book written thousands of years ago tells you to. If your husband can't see that and wants to do this against your wishes then you may be better off without him anyway. Fortunately he can't do this without your consent so make sure to keep a close eye on your child.

Thank you for the replies. We did discuss our different beliefs before we got Married but not as far as what would happen when we have Children and Son in particular it just didn't cross my mind to think about it and he never brought it up.... until recently.

I completely see what your all saying about not wanting My Son to have a role model like him. Fortunately he doesn't pick up on the 'problems' he has seen me upset recently and I've just brushed it off and made a silly laughable excuse so he doesn't get upset for me.

I think I will have to speak to someone professional after the Baby is Born if this continues. As ridiculous as it sounds it's never as easy as it seems to ' throw someone out' there are lots I need to take into consideration, mainly the Children, also the upkeep of the house, I am not sure if I would manage Mortgage, bills council tax etc.... on my own, especially on Maternity Pay and then how I would cope when I go back to work.

Re the circumcision, so they really need consent of both parents? As this of course concerns me, I know when he was talking to me last week he said about a clinic he has found in a city a couple of hours away from us so I am of course worried about that. Although I really don't think he would go behind my back and do it.