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Relationships

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What does this sound like to you?

4 replies

WatchOutForTheHobgoblin · 28/07/2019 23:52

Thank you for reading this. I need some help interpretting the way a man is behaving around me. I have aspergers and find it hard to read people's intentions and someone the other day made a joke about me having 'pulled'. I just thought we were more relaxed around each other, becoming closer and moving from acquaintances to friends. So I'd like to know what you think.

I know him through a hobby I've been doing for around a year. I see him once a week for the hobby and then when we have events on because of it. I sometimes see him out socially but we don't really talk. We've never talked about anything personal or serious.

We've had 3 events over the last month and we have spent more time together than previously. Last time, I noticed that he was more attentive - 'seeking me out' to come and stand next to me, to ask me what I was going to do next, to wait for me or just to check I was ok. There was something he thought I might be interested in there. He asked me twice if I'd been to see it and, because I hadn't, on the second time asked if I'd like to go with him.

He also touched me on three separate occasions. Once, I put my hand on his shoulder when I asked him something. It was loud and I needed to get his attention and make sure I was close enough for him to hear. He put his hand on the small of my back as I did so. The second time, he bumped into me accidentally and put his hand on my waist/hip when he turned to apologise and ask if I were ok. The third time, he put his hand on my shoulder when he needed to reach past me for something. He's never touched me before except for a perfunctory goodbye hug.

He also asked questions about me. He instigated a conversation where we were just talking about ourselves and work and how we manage aspects of it and he later asked about my marriage break down years ago and shared some of his own relationship history. He also told me a few things that I guess are personal and are things he doesn't generally share.

He said he finds it difficult to get close to people and to feel comfortable enough to share things. He also has aspergers. I've read all of this as us just feeling more comfortable around each other and getting to know each other and becoming friends but what was said has been playing on my mind a bit. What do you think?

OP posts:
Theworldcouldbemymollusc · 28/07/2019 23:54

I think he’s flirting with you and testing the waters to see if you like him.

Smellbellina · 28/07/2019 23:56

Is he single?

WatchOutForTheHobgoblin · 28/07/2019 23:59

Do you think there's any way he could be doing it subconsciously or is it definitely deliberate?

So can things like the touching be instinctive without him really being aware of doing it?

OP posts:
beenwhereyouare · 29/07/2019 00:36

It really sounds like he likes you and is putting himself out there a little bit to see if you like him back. I mean in a dating sense. He's probably waiting for a sign from you. If you're interested in him in that way, let it show. You can do that subtly, as he has. If he's been flirting, hopefully he'll read the signals and up his game a little more next time. If he's just being friendly, you won't have done anything embarrassing.

Think of it this way. How likely would it be for you to unconsciously touch him? Wouldn't that be something you were highly aware of?

And once, possibly. But not multiple times. I bet he's not like that with everyone. Maybe just you. 😉

Hope it works out!

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