Hot and Cold guy, what with this?

[SMellisa]

Sorry this is so long, please bare with me x

I’ve been dating a guy now for at least 4/ 5 months. I am head over heels. He is gorgeous, sensitive and so so kind. He acts interested in me and makes so much effort with me that I’ve never had before with any other guy, showers me with attention.

I told him on Thursday last week that I’ve had a really busy week and it’s been quite stressful: work/ my car has broken down twice so I’ve really struggled with mobility and it’s caused me a lot of hassle. I said sorry I haven’t been very chatty maybe I need a few weeks to get back to my usual self and I’ll be fine. (I’ve been feeling a little down lately such as low mood, I haven’t told him this but in my
Message I may have come across by saying ‘I don’t want to talk
For 2 weeks’ depends how you take it!! He is quite sensitive so I think he may have taken this the wrong way. But that is certainly not the case.) We talk every day on the phone- he lives just under an hour away from me so we do see each other as much as we can, we don’t see each other every day so our phone is main point of contact. I was meant to see him
Tomorrow as we both booked a day off work (Monday) but had to cancel as I have no car .... he said it was ‘no problem’ and then seemed really down and quiet with me for the rest of the day on message, saying he was ‘crushed’ he couldn’t see me but he understands due to my car and it ‘can’t be helped’ (he also has no car for a week so not ideal for us both!)...

Since Thursday he hasn’t spoken to me.
I do really like him so I’m struggling with this silence he’s giving me. Don’t really understand it.

This was the messages we sent each other Last Friday:

Me:
Hope you’re ok this evening, nice to see you’re relaxing x sorry we don’t talk much recently like we have. Hope you have a good weekend. x

Him:
It’s ok I’m always here to text.. you told me to chill a bit and give you time to think 💭 for a while... that’s all I’m doing... You know I miss you baby xxxx

I never asked for time to think... I didn’t respond and still have not had anything from him.

I am so confused and know I can get some really helpful opinions on here. Maybe it’s all in my head? Sorry if this is a bit confusing, I will try and clarify anything x

How come you didn't respond? Sounds like he thinks you've asked for space and is giving you space

I think you’re probably the one who’s coming across as hot and cold! I don’t mean to sound harsh, but you don’t seem to be communicating with him very well but sound annoyed that he can’t read your mind.

Jeezo, he says he thinks you want time to think so you then ignore him?
So he will assume you’re thinking things over. Why is everyone over analysing everything, just bloody phone him!

I think you need to phone him up and clear up the misunderstandings that are going on.

@HalyardHitch thanks for your response. It seems everytime I respond to him (over the past few days) I'm left on 'read' for a day.... don't get a response. So I decided to leave it that time. It's odd. Maybe it is just me. Men

Thanks all, tempted to phone tonight and sort out.... I feel I am putting more in sometimes that's all. I hate phones

I would ring him and get it cleared up. Texts can often be misinterpreted to be honest. I think he has picked up a vibe from you (rightly or wrongly) so all you have to do is call him and clear it up. I don't think its him to be fair.

You are the one sending mixed signals. Call him..apologise. say you meant that you were just struggling and would be back to normal in a week ago and you didnt mean you wanted space. I barely understood your explanation so can't blame him for being confused.

@BlingLoving what are my mixed signals ?

sorry I haven’t been very chatty maybe I need a few weeks to get back to my usual self and I’ll be fine. has been interpreted as you needing space. Probably.

You have gave him the impression you need to think the relationship over, he says ok and rather than explain you didn’t mean this you ignore him.
Thats why you need to speak to him to clear that up.

What bookworm said

Just call him! Texts are an unreliable form of communication in that they can be misunderstood or not even delivered.

I have to agree with PP's on this... I think he has interpreted your message as wanting space.
Yes I know it's frustrating/painful/confusing to be left on 'read' for days on end, and to feel like you're being ignored.
But don't allow yourself to get into game playing, by giving what may seem a 'taste of his own medicine'.
Always be the bigger person. Call/text him, it would be a real shame for this all to have a damaging effect on what sounds like a promising relationship.

Thanks so much all x