History of bad relationships

[SR0r]

At 37, I've never been in a good relationship, they usually start well but that never lasts long, they've all ended terribly and I say I won't let it happen again but I always seem to. I'm starting to think I'm the problem, whilst I'm not the one being a shitty partner I'm still letting it happen and managing to find men like that. I really thought my last relationship was the one, we were together for a long time but still he ended up being just like the rest if not worse.

Hi OP, I feel like that sometimes. Have you thought about getting some counselling for yourself? I suspect you need to work on yourself and your boundaries. I'm not perfect myself but I've learned over the years what I won't tolerate any more. I had some counselling too which helps you put things into perspective,.

Counselling would be helpful to you. Do not date further until you have thrashed out any and all underlying issues.

Consider also in these sessions what you learnt about relationships when you were growing up. What sort of example did your parents show you?. We after all learn about relationships first and foremost from our parents.

Hi op

I’m the same although I’ve never had great rships Some worse than others. Starts off well too they seem really nice I too thought my recent ex was the one at first I was head over heels and it turned out awful and completely toxic

My problem is not walking away when I see the red flags but that’s cos I am always chasing the person they were to begin with.. which isn’t even the real them.

I agree with previous posters it’s defiantly about boundaries etc.. I’ve had consellong too but didn’t help that much. Not sure why I am like this as My parents still together and have a great marriage I’ve not grown up around toxic rships
However most of my friends are in them and my conseller said that can have an effect as you start to feel it is normal

What was your parents' relationship like, OP?

Watching with interest as I am in the same boat.

As PP have mentioned, what was your parents relationship like when you were growing up? I’ve always ended up with men like my dad (misogynistic, abusive arseholes) and it’s only through therapy that I’m starting to break the habit.

My parents separated when I was around 14 and for a few years before then they mostly argued, I was often the subject of their arguments which wasn't great for me mentally. I don't remember their relationship ever being that great. I have had some counselling in the past, I never really found it very helpful but I would be willing to give it another try