I am so ashamed of myself

[Luckoftheirish71]

Long story short I went to a party at a neighbours house, last week . Everyone got incredibly drunk drinking cocktails including myself and god knows how as I can hardly remember the details but myself and the guy had a very drunken brief kiss. I don’t know how this happened, I don’t know him and I certainly don’t fancy him . It’s as if the booze made me a like mad ! I woke up next day not remembering getting home with an injury to myself . I am very happily married and confessed to my husband that day . This is awful and I have spent a week avoiding him and worrying his partner noticed it. I have never done anything like this before and hate cheats, I am racked with guilt and feel very, very ashamed. I can’t avoid them forever, I am sure he feels equally as bad! I am NEVER drinking to that degree again, how can I put this right ? I want to move which isn’t an option 😞

I wouldn’t have told DH. It wasn’t as if you had bad intentions: just a silly drunken mistake. Forgive yourself and move on.

Least said soonest mended.

As said already, you shouldn’t have told anyone.

I think we've all been there where we've regretted drinking so much and it tends to be the last time you will do it.
Though it might seem terrible it's really not.
Maybe the guy you kissed can't even remember it
It won't matter in a few weeks time, honestly we're all human.

I can't imagine getting too worked up over a drunken snog, though I would wonder if it was indicative of deeper issues.

Take your hair shirt off. It was a kiss, when drunk, which you regret. You’ve told your husband, what else is to put right? I very much doubt the guy in question feels anything differently about the situation and will probably be as happy as you are to just never mention it again.

I woke up next day not remembering getting home with an injury to myself

What sort of injury?

Good job you're female....you'd have been absolutely slated as a bloke saying this.

Do you think you've been spiked? What injury?

Drunken kiss as a woman - don't tell your DH, it was a one off, learn from your mistake and move on with your life.

Drunken kiss as a man - confess all to your wife, beg forgiveness, move out of the home while she decides if she wants to continue the relationship, hand over all passwords to your phone and email accounts, cut all contacts with your female friends.

Really? Do you have to make this about gender when the poor OP feels awful about it?

I did this too. In front of my now husband. Never drank that much champagne again. If he did it, of course l would forgive and forget. We are all capable of making mistakes.

I did wonder how long before someone mentioned spiking of drinks.

If you drink enough your brain stops laying down memory. Which means you can wake up not remembering anything even if you don’t remember being drunk.

Cut my leg .

oh wow and oh dear. i feel sorry for you and gutted for your husband.

Whilst its nice to feel attractive and have a mutual attraction, if my DH did that, i would also be worried that there is something more to it or if i was as certain as i could be, then i'd wonder why even if he was stupidly, stupidly can't stand drunk.

hopefully it will blow over for you and you can regain your DHs trust. but wow, neighbour's party. hopefully you're all matey enough for it to turn stressy.

What happened to the usual spiel of "tell ur DH, you should let him decide whether or not it's a big deal for him or not, yada,yada,yada." The double standards on here are extrordinary at times. I don't doubt the OP is genuinely remorseful but if it's such a non issue to most of you why shouldn't she then tell her DH safe in the knowledge he will chuckle forgivingly and tell her what a silly billy she has been? (And he may well do this, who knows).

I feel so bad as I am very against cheating , my ex cheated on me and I know too well how it feels. I have embarrassed myself and disrespected my neighbour’s partner and my lovely husband . I am really scared the neighbour’s partner is going to challenge me, which she has every right . I really do not know how this happened and it’s worse as I feel I can’t get away from it as they live so close ☺️

I told him .

Or he may decide that she has been unfaithful to him, which to some she has, depends on their take on such behaviours but at least he has the knowledge and can make an informed decision.

Thank you, that’s a nice reply ! I like to consider myself a decent human being and I should imagine he is too . I don’t know how alcohol can change your personality so much, I am usually very reserved and would never have dreamt I would do something so disgusting

Oh dear.

FWIW I think telling your husband was absolutely the right thing to do, for you both.

As for neighbours, keep a very wide berth and let time do its thing.

I wouldn’t go round again though - no matter how many years have passed.

I had a boyfriend in my 20’s that I loved the bones of but I still shagged someone else. He ended it. I was married for six years (together for ten) when my husband shagged a woman at work. We worked through it and have just had our fifteenth wedding anniversary. I don’t think there is a universal answer here. It was just a kiss but people have different boundaries. Your neighbors though, bit close to home if he also tells his wife?