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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Leaving emotionally abusive relationship - feel broken

4 replies

GVROM · 28/07/2019 15:35

Sorry in advance for the length of this. Also, name changed for this post.

I've lived with my partner for a year. It's gradually become apparent that he's emotionally abusive. There's too much to list, but some of the factors include:

-Would say how pretty someone was and sometimes show me pictures of them, but would never pay me compliments.
-Never really said he loved me after I moved in with him. Unless asked.
-Hardly spent time with me, but would get really aggravated if I said we didn't get much quality time together.
-Repeatedly said my job was crap and made me a boring person. My job is niche and very well paid and has taken a lot of effort for me to build to the level I've built it to.
-Criticised what I did around the house. It was never good enough.
-If I tried to point out what I had done for him he'd ask why I felt that was good enough or worth acknowledging.
-Would never believe a thing I said. Ever. Even about small things such as an engineer coming to see the boiler but being unable to fix it.
-If I ever told him about something he'd take the other person's side.
-Never allowed to express emotion, ever.
-Read my personal journal and used the content against me (I write about things for perspective when sad)

The house is his. I've been paying half the bills and for all the food, plus the cleaner. My DD lives with us and the sticking point came when he tried to turn on her. We were at his parents' place and he was trying to point out that she was too big for her shorts in front of everyone (she wasn't - not that it matters). I began watching his behaviour with her and noticed he's acting really quite disdainful towards her. He also told me he couldn't continue loving me if I wouldn't put an end to going NC with my mum, who has been incredibly emotionally abusive. He also said he couldn't love me if I didn't change my job.

We're now moving out before the end of the six-week holidays. Unfortunately, this means moving more than 300 miles away so I can be near my support network. My lifelong friend and her husband have been trying to encourage me to find independence for a while and will be helping me. I'll have a support network and be back around my friends and some extended family who I am close to, but DD is gutted that she will be leaving her school. She's in Year 7 and has had some issues with bullying that settled down, but seems genuinely upset. I just don't have the support emotionally or financially to remain here. Both DD and I will miss my DSS (we're not married...but I see him as being a big part of my life)...I just feel so sad to be losing the boy I've grown to love over the last few years.

I'm not sure why I am writing all this out other than to get it off my chest and ask how anyone in the same situation coped. Also, how do I cope with living with him for the next three or so weeks? I'm trying to move as fast as I can, but it's DD's birthday in three days' time and I also want to be able to say goodbye to DSS properly.

I feel so utterly sad and awful. I know I'm mourning a relationship that hasn't been okay for a while and that I am on the cusp of freedom, but I feel like sh**.

OP posts:
Goodnightchristopherrobin · 28/07/2019 15:40

I’m just getting over one too OP. It takes time. Be kind to yourself. Treat your current situation as you would if you were recovering from a physical illness, because it is just as bad.

OhioOhioOhio · 28/07/2019 15:47

It's taken me 3 years to be ready to begin again but I know now I am.

It's wonderful. Life without a vile angry bastard is wonderful.

GVROM · 28/07/2019 15:49

Thank you both. It feels weird being so gutted by something I know is the right thing to do. But good to know that it's wonderful in the end.

OP posts:
billy1966 · 28/07/2019 16:01

Hold on OP.
You know it's the right thing to do for you and your DD.

Great that you have good kind friends to support you.

Detach emotionally if you can and focus on how good life is going to be, because you have made the brave decision.

Wishing you continued strength.

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