Separated from my ExP 2 months ago due to a number of issues including a lack of trust and built up resentment on my part and yesterday he says he’d like to get back together as it’s killing him not seeing our DD grow up (he works long hours) and he misses me. Our DD is 11 months.
So a bit of back story, we had been together almost 6years, no sign of commitment from him side even when suggested by myself. During our relationship he had text 3 girls including his ex in what I would say was in an inappropriate way, we had discussed these at the time and he had fob them off as nothing and that he had been stupid to risk our relationship. He is lazy, would often put me down as a joke.. even yesterday insinuated I wasn’t intelligent but made it out to be a joke and does/has had a tendency to be a stroppy child and just has never shown he really loves me. All of these the reasons I left along with him not been hands off with our DD. I am in no way perfect I tried leaving him three times, each time I returned he’d slightly improve ( loading the dishwasher and sometimes cooking ) but the moment I let my guard down that’s it he’d go back to his usual ways, something he says isn’t true. But obviously I can understand him feeling hurt and resentful for me leaving with our daughter something I feel so guilty for.
Now he is telling me he’ll do better, we can go to therapy and that he’ll more, however like I said to him I don’t know which version of him is really him anymore.. and that the one he goes back to must be the real him. His dad acts the same way and is in his 60s. And to be quite honest I don’t think he wants me back but he wants to have DD back, almost to portay the perfect family image because he does sweet FA with her.
So should I go back? I don’t think I should, but this guilty feel I have of feeling like I’ve wronged him won’t shift which makes me wonder if I’ve been to hard on him.