My husband of 17 years (been together 21 years) has always had a troubled personality. He was always prone to heavy drinking sessions (at home usually) with drug taking (weed) throughout our time together.
He had a very difficult childhood and they were and always have been his crutch.
Throughout our relationship there have been dozens of violent and and abusive outbursts - although he's never struck me he has destroyed the house on many occasions and verbally abused me often! Always post alcohol!!
The rest of the time though he is lovely,kind, generous, a good dad to our son (now 17) and daughter (26) who both still live at home! He has built a hugely successful business and we live in a beautiful house, I have lovely things and want for nothing materially!
However..... and it's a big one! He has started taking harder drugs occasionally a couple of years ago, the drinking is getting worse, he is on marijuana most of the time to calm him (his words) and I'm finding it very difficult to live with him. At 17 our son is affected by him now although I know in the past he has witnessed some awful events, he is verbally showing his anger at his dad which in turn is making the situation worse.
He came home late again last night as happens about every 2-3 months asking to leave me (again). He had been taking drugs and watching online porn all day at his office.
We've been here so so many times and I'm tired of hanging on in there for the sake of my family.
Ultimately I adore the man for the good man inside is tortured and I know I have helped him and he does love me (he says). I'm broken again today as feel I simply cannot go on!
Words or help needed. Please?!