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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is my wife have an emotional relationship?

2 replies

Talljuan · 27/07/2019 23:19

Hey.
First post and sorry if this goes on but I’m struggling and would really like some help and feedback.

Back in February I saw that my wife had been chatting to a guy from her work via Facebook.
There wasn’t anything sexual although he did say “you love me” sarcastically.
I know she hasn’t cheated as we both know where each other is pretty much all the time.
We’ve also had a fantastic relationship and we adore each other, but....

I had a break down over that and something else (neighbours) one evening when I got home.
I mentioned I’d seen the messages and she brushed them off as work chat.
I said I wasn’t overly happy but trusted she’d keep it professional.
5 weeks ago when I went to work she chatted with him for the entire 8 hour shift I was away.
I saw these messages 2 weeks ago, and again, nothing sexual but she’d waited until I was at work to message him.
I didn’t let her know I’d seen them and that I knew she’d also deleted them.

Today, the second I left for work I noticed she’d logged into Facebook messenger and had been on it all evening while id been working, only coming off of messenger minutes before I got home.
The 3 times I know she’d been messaging I had been on the exact same shift (I work on a 5 week rota).
I Feel betrayed as there was an incident 7 years ago where she wound message a guy at her old work constantly by any means possible.

Do I approach this with her?
Am I being stupid?
How to I bring it up with seeming psycho?

Just to add, I saw a doctor a couple of months after a mini breakdown and she said I had anxiety and prescribed Sertraline.
It helped to start but doesn’t seem to be now.

Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
Mummy0ftwo12 · 27/07/2019 23:22

What outcome do you want OP?

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 27/07/2019 23:30

Sorry, how do you know your wife was on messenger during those times?

I don't quite understand why she is messaging someone so much- is she lonely? Definitely nothing sexual in the messages? What do they talk about?

Obs you don't trust her if you're checking her phone.

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