How do I stick through the next few years?

[StuckInT]

I'm sure that if I was reading this, rather than writing it I'd be screaming just leave but I can't.

I'm nearly 50, got married to 2nd DH 3 years ago. I've sunk all of the money I have into the house we own, so has he.
A mixture of fixed rate mortgage and other factors means that I won't yet get back the money I've put in, I would need that money as a deposit for a new house.

There isn't much long rental property here and the rental properties that do exist are hideously expensive.

If I was 15 years younger I wouldn't be so bothered but I'd like the option of retiring even if I don't actually do it in my early - mid 60s, that and my age being a factor in the amount of mortgage I can get all adds up to having to stay in my marriage.

So I'm staying in this marriage and it's shit.
Not terrible, just shit.

As examples: one of the things that attracted DH to me was my sense of fun and laughter. I've come to realise that if life is getting in the way - it's been a crap day at work, it's Thursday, I've got a cold, whatever - and I'm not full of joy and brightness he is miserable and snappy.
He could get a PhD in passive aggression, I swear. He can turn filling the washing machine into an act of silent vengeance.
He's dull and doesn't have much to say for himself. Instead, he criticises me for not starting conversation.

This is the short version but it's a death by 1000 paper cuts.

I can't move to a cheaper area, my family, including DCs and new DGC are here, to move somewhere cheaper I'd have to go 100 miles away. I've turned it every way I can and there's no way out.

So I can't leave, I have to stay for at least another 3 years. How do I get through it? Does anyone have experience of this?

RafaelAndJane I'm sorry, that sounds awful but it sounds as though you are further down the road than me.
Although I identify with some of the things you say DH doesn't do all of them. Mainly, DH's frustrations are at inanimate objects or when driving.
I'm not sure that grey rock would work with my DH, he'd just shrug his shoulders and ignore my ignoring IYSWIM? Eventually, one of us would have to break!

DH is still tactile, he still walks with his arm around me when we go anywhere, there are lots of reasons to know that he does still love me. That doesn't make the situation any easier to live with though.

By coincidence I want to join the WI and I've got some other plans I'm making too. I'm taking your lead and your list and I'm going to use it.

lifebegins50 yes, the WhatsApp group, I said to DH, in my light, carefree tone that he could have gone out with them yesterday. DH replied that he wasn't invited.
So yes, they do possibly think of him as that old bloke.

I do have a will, I've left everything I can in trust to my DCs and asked my surviving parent to pass any of my inheritance to my DCs.

As I say, we have a holiday coming up soon. I know that DH will be lovely then.

A point that occured to me earlier: we did go in to the Cathedral I mentioned above, DH said it wasn't very interesting, that there wasn't much to look at and that he preferred the Sagrada Familia it's apples and oranges. I did start to explain the difference between Catholic and Protestant iconography and the effects of the Reformation etc but I gave up after a sentence or two. I suppose you're either interested or you aren't, though I try to take an interest in his hobbies and interests.