Man Wanted! (Lighthearted - Maybe)

[DippingToes]

After a couple of unsuccessful relationships that started online, I'm thinking of putting myself out there again in the hope of finding a suitable long-term boyfriend.

The only problem is that I'm pushing 50, and the blokes I see online are old looking with sedentary lifestyles. It's also difficult to judge a person's character over a computer.

So, anyone got any recommendations for someone for me? I'd like someone kind, interesting, funny, solvent, and with children ideally as I have them too. Any brothers or friends in the same boat? I'm in Essex, so amazing candidates around here/East London would be ideal.

I am, of course, a fantastic individual.

On another site I visit there was a complaint that people put on their ads a list of what they want but fail to describe what they have to offer. Ball's in your court, OP.

Put an honest, but in your best light description, of yourself and a short description of what you are looking for. Don't go detail about your children. No. of children is enough.
When you search, look for people within about 8 yrs of your age either way.

Aside from being a fantastic individual, you mean? I'm caring, kind, and have a career, my own house, car, and teeth.

Any offers, or am I destined to die alone and be eaten by alsatians?

Thanks @MikeUniformMike , but I don't want to do online dating site unless I can help it!

I wouldn't either.
Is there anything that you do that you could join a club or group to do?
I joined something like a running club, and although I got no dates out of, it was something I enjoyed and it widened my social circle.
Other options are being friendly and nice looking when you are out and about.
Mr Right will find you when you are not looking.
You have dogs so something dog related perhaps?
Somewhere new to walk the dogs. Dog food aisle in the supermarket...
If you work in IT, there should be a good supply of single men in their 40s.
A lot of people meet at or through work.

Thanks. I don't have a problem getting male attention or being asked out when I'm out and about, it's just not from men I'm interested in (that sounds awful!) Nobody at work unfortunately.

I'm not suggesting that you currently don't look nice or are not friendly when you are out and about - thinking more about me. I recently was in the cat food section of the local supermarket when a gorgeous man asked me about cat food. If only I had been looking nice (not unkempt) I would have flirted. I keep going back there just in case but ...

Ha ha! I wouldn't go to a supermarket without a full face of slap on, so I'm always ready to snag a victim should one arise .

Have you been successful in your own search?

Give someone who seems unlikely a chance? I met someone who was nothing like my ideal, and would have never been matched up on OLD, and hit it off. I was completely put something about his appearance (think something like weight problem or baldness) but we hit it off despite not having that much in common.

No. When I have been looking, nobody at all knows a single male.
OLD - i'm not photogenic and I get ghosted after I send a photo. I wouldn't dare put a photo online.
At our age, men write us off because of our age, or are looking for a nursemaid for their old age.

Thanks, but the people who chat me up when I'm out and about are the same kind of person as my ex husband. I can't get past that 🤣.

I may have to (reluctantly) go back online after all - it did work up to a point, and I did meet some interesting people.

Single male friends of 40+ are childless and want children, so will search for women up to age 39. They often have a lot to offer having had a good job in IT for 30 yrs. There is a reason they are single - they are sort of 'on the spectrum'.

The single men I know who have children come with baggage - bad breakups.

Depressing, isn't it? Hopefully we'll both be successful before too long.

Look for a friend or a companion.
By bad breakups I mean things like isolated DV incident or no access to DC.
Look on match or something for single men 39-52 in your area - you can look free.

For your own profile you could try
Aside from being a fantastic individual, I'm caring, kind, and have a career, my own house, car, and teeth.
Any offers, or am I destined to die alone and be eaten by alsatians?
If I saw that for a bloke, I'd be curious.

I'm attached but we have been through a very bad patch, and am keeping my options open. I'm not 100% certain if I still want to be with him.

It's only depressing if you let it be.
I think being single would be better than the heartbreak I've been through.

Yes, agreed. Maybe I shouldn't bother again. It is a risk.

Get back on OLD. Lighthearted profile, what MUM suggested would spark my interest. Some decent photo's and be bloody picky!!

It is very difficult to judge someone's character over a computer but a few messages tends to give you an idea. Meet quickly and do not invest too much time if the spark/connection is not there.

Contrary to popular belief there are a few of us out there that are ok "ish" .

Most importantly remember it is meant to be fun!

Good luck.

Thanks. When I did it before I hid my profile and hooked the men in myself because I AM so picky 🤣

Fromablokespoint - are you by any chance 50ish, single, possibly with children, and in the Essex area? If not, do you know anyone wwho fits that description? If you do, we know the right woman for him ...

@MUM
I am 50, devilishly handsome, witty, intelligent and can cook a mean curry and lead a very non sedentary lifestyle. I also have children but unfortunately from Berkshire and was lucky enough to meet my fabulous "older woman" (she's 52 ) 9 months ago on Tinder (I am a huge fan of OLD at our "advanced" years).

I never took it seriously and always tried to have fun because it should be - get back on it, brush off your dancing shoes and go forth and dazzle.

To MUM and Dipping Toes - it is worth the risk, amongst all the angst and heartache you will find someone who was just meant to be (did I say I'm an old romantic at heart as well!)

Thank you to you both, and I'm glad you're happy. I'm nursing a broken heart still realistically after my last relationship, so will give it some time. At the moment, I don't have eyes for anyone else, but who knows in the future.

From, I was really getting my hopes up there until... oh never mind. Have you got any single male pals who WLTM haggard woman of the same age with view to being invited round to his mate's for a mean curry? I am very kind to my cat.

Firstly, there is a dating support thread for those in our position. Feel free to join...

Secondly, you are never too old for OLD. (I'm 57, and been OLD for a while) It's really not as bad as it seems.

My problem is that I'm being tarred with the "ready for pipe and slippers" brush, when nothing could be further from the truth..

PM me for more details

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