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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

People who live happily by themselves...

31 replies

gotthefaceon · 27/07/2019 10:03

Do you have days where you wake up and wish there was someone to chat to?

I'm not always alone as I have children. But have quite a bit of time by myself. I do see friends but I'm limited financially with how often I can go out. Also friends aren't always available.

I'm having a nice lie in, made myself lovely breakfast and coffee so it's not awful. But I really wish I had someone to chat to. Just some easy familiar lazy morning chat.

OP posts:
Nothavingfunrightnow · 27/07/2019 10:10

I know what you mean. I also cannot go out often because of finances and it becomes awkward constantly explaining that.

It's my birthday today and my son is with his father so I'm spending the day on my own. Part of me is delighted at the thought, while another part is quite blue.

On the other hand, I'd rather be alone than have to make conversation with someone I'd rather not be with! 😁

I hope your day pans out better than you'd expected.

Original poster
gotthefaceon · 27/07/2019 10:13

Happy birthday Nothavingfunrightnow. I hope you have a nice day.

OP posts:
joyfullittlehippo · 27/07/2019 10:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Zaphodsotherhead · 27/07/2019 10:57

I work in a job where I talk to people constantly for up to nine hours a day. Home is lovely and peaceful and quiet. If I want to chat I can phone one of my adult children, or pop over to see them (all live within an hour's drive).

The only thing I miss is someone to do stuff when I'm unwell. Walking the dog when I feel utterly dreadful, is horrible. Otherwise, there is not one single thing I miss. I'd rather live alone that with some bloke hogging the TV and never wanting to go out anywhere!

Tenpenny · 27/07/2019 10:59

Im a single parent to one child and have lived alone for a few years now. As an introvert I tend to enjoy and need solitude, I generally pass the time quite cheerfully when dd is with her dad.
The only problem is I have no one I would really call a friend at this point, and I worry about a lonely future because of this a lot. Id been drawn to quite unsuitable friendships/relationships for years and had to phase them all out, haven't found anyone new yet.

Whosorrynow · 27/07/2019 11:00

everyday when I wake up I am filled with gratitude for the fact that there is no one else there to talk to me
If I want to human interaction I can message someone or get involved with conversation online
Living alone is pure bliss I would never ever go back to cohabiting

madeofstarlight · 27/07/2019 11:05

I know how you feel, OP. I've lived on my own for about a year now and I have a bf, good friends and family but sometimes feel a bit lonely when I'm on my own all day. I like my own company but wish I could pop into the next room and have a chat with someone like I could when I still lived with my family. But I know if I was to go back and live with them I'd be wishing I was living on my own again 😂

Would getting a pet help? I've got a cat and it's nice to come home to her after work or an evening out.

Original poster
gotthefaceon · 27/07/2019 12:18

A pet might help but I can't really take on the extra expense just now. Also I worry on weekdays which are generally busy I might forget to feed it etc!

It is often nice and peaceful but i definitely like company. Sounds like those who enjoy it enjoy solitude more than I do.

I've always enjoyed some time by myself, happily go to theatre, cinema by myself, but i don't need lots of alone time. I do often feel lonely in the evenings or when DC aren't here and I wake up alone.

Joyfullittlehippo 16 was very young to be living alone.

OP posts:
Tish008 · 27/07/2019 12:21

I live alone and love the silence, but I do miss sharing things with someone.

I have two cats who keep me company but I do admit that I love star fishing in bed, can't do that with anyone else there!

Whosorrynow · 27/07/2019 12:33

I can't understand why people want pets, it's just another annoying thing that you have to deal with why make extra work for yourself?

isntitapip · 27/07/2019 13:33

In general I'm happy on my own. My kids' dad is very involved do they spend a couple of nights a week at least at his. Yes, sometimes I'd like someone to chat to in the morning, but the way I look at it is that if someone lived with me I'd probably want space more than anything. Grass isn't always geener. I'm lucky that I have plenty of friends and a great social life though so the quite time is rare and massively appreciated.

Ellabella989 · 27/07/2019 13:36

I had a pen pal when I lived alone and I really enjoyed writing letters once a week. We would tell each other everything!
I loved living on my own at times but I would occasionally get lonely and feel jealous of my friends who were in happy relationships. If you lived with someone you would probably miss the peace and quiet, and having your own space. Swings and roundabouts

Original poster
gotthefaceon · 27/07/2019 13:42

I've been making an effort to do more and fill my time. I suppose the thing for me is I don't want to be socialising all the time, I'd like company during the down time. That said, I can't imagine ever wanting another adult to actually live in my house with me!

Good point re grass/greener.

OP posts:
Original poster
gotthefaceon · 27/07/2019 13:43

Ella, yes "settings and roundabouts" probably true.

OP posts:
Joy69 · 27/07/2019 16:07

I'm beginning to enjoy living on my own. I've built up a number of friendships & go to different activities and feel that someone else would get in the way of these.
I might feel differently when the nights draw in & no one wants to come out Grin

justonecottonpickingminute · 27/07/2019 18:40

I've lived alone all my adult life entirely through choice. The prospect of having someone else in my space - particularly in the morning when I'm still waking up, and just want to sip my coffee with the radio on - is hellish to me. I do have a committed partner (we've been together for 20 years!), and we do stay over at each other's homes, but a few days is as much as I can cope with before I need my solitude again. But we're all different and if you want a live-in partner, I hope you find one.

Original poster
gotthefaceon · 27/07/2019 22:16

The relationship you describe sounds appealing justone rather than someone permanently here.

OP posts:
youngheart · 27/07/2019 22:23

I feel completely alone a lot of the time

It's crazy how on appearances someone can look completely put together but they are not

To anyone who would look I have a good business lovely DC

Inside I'm alone a lot of the time
Between a business and my DC very little time to socialise and no real friends who are single and not in relationships

I have tonight tomorrow tomorrow night to myself

No plans .. no friends to hang out with and no DC I've sat on my own since around 6pm this evening feeling terrible

I worry all the time that this will be me for the rest of my life

Yet to anyone looking in they think I lead a super amazing life .. sad really

Original poster
gotthefaceon · 27/07/2019 22:43

Sorry to hear that youngheart

I was talking with someone I know a little recently about how you often don't have a clue what people's lives are like from the outside. We both were unaware of similar struggles. I hope you find a way to pass some time tomorrow.

OP posts:
youngheart · 27/07/2019 22:52

To be honest it will be spent at home I imagine cleaning or something of the like

Today has been awful ... for me it comes in waves there's times I feel ok and others like I'm
Drowning in loneliness

Original poster
gotthefaceon · 27/07/2019 23:01

I get the waves thing. Today was a wash out but it passes. I always feel it's waiting to resurface though

OP posts:
Mac47 · 27/07/2019 23:05

There is not one minute in my whole life where I think i want someone to be with. I am never lonely and a partner would add nothing to my life, but would take away a lot.

Pipandmum · 27/07/2019 23:08

Esther Rantzen once said after her husband died ‘I have plenty of people to do something with, what I want is someone to do nothing with’.
I’m a widow and yes i often just want to share a thought or something trivial. I’m very happy in my own company and would rather be on my own than in an unhappy relationship, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t love to have someone special and the companionship that provides.

RosaWaiting · 27/07/2019 23:14

No, I love living alone

But I do generally wake up to a few chatty messages, talk to a few friends via chat daily, sister and cousin email once a day, mum and I talk about an hour a day. Also friends with neighbours so random drinks happen. Plus being mates with neighbours is very...I don’t know, reassuring? I’ve been ill and injured, quite badly, in the time I’ve lived alone and have had lots of support. This was after my parents were too old to be able to do practical things for me.

I met a few good local friends through Twitter, if that’s any help.

carly2803 · 27/07/2019 23:16

i live alone (with my child). i love it.
yes i do get lonely some nights, and wish i had someone to cuddle up to. Ultimately i love my own space, decide when i want to eat, watch whatever on t.v.

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