My husband left me a month ago, because I told his parents I could no longer cope with his drinking and his abuse. Apparently it's ok for him to be perpetually drunk, and abusive, because "everyone does that", but it was unforgiveable for me to ask for help and support. So off he went.
It's been painful but also liberating.
One thing I'm really glad I did was I bought a voice-activated recorder that looks like a flash drive, and used it to record some of the "discussions" we had, during which time he criticised and threatened me, and blamed me for everything. He doesn't know I did it, and I am not going to tell him: but when I start to feel sad or weak or wish that things could be different I listen to some of those recordingsjust a few minutesand realise what an utter shit he is, and how much better off I am without him.
I've had CBT in the past, which I found very helpful, so am using those techniques to ensure I don't dwell on this, and instead I am being positive and busy and it's helping.
I hope you find the safest, happiest way out for you. It's brilliant, it really is.