Please help me escape this shit. Possible trigger

[Whatalongyear]

Within the last few weeks -

I found out my boyfriend was cheating. I only found out because he gave me two STI’s. We only had unprotected sex because he coerced me.

Someone very close to me had police involvement as she was raped. She changed her mind about having police involved, but they were incredibly pushy. It was really awful and stressful.

A sudden load of financial problems have come up - car broken down and needs to go into the garage, fridge packed up, etc. All within the last two weeks. I’m on universal credit, a really tight budget and I’m having sleepless nights from money worries.

I think I’m in shock from everything. As a disclaimer, I know so many people have it worse, but I’m struggling emotionally and mentally to deal with everything at the moment, and I don’t know what to do.

I have such mixed feelings towards my now ex. I’m obviously really upset and feel completely betrayed that he continued the sex despite it being obvious that I didn’t want to, and the fact he slept with someone else anyway. It was a ONS but that doesn’t make me feel any better. I’m so shocked that he would risk his own health and my health like that, and I’m furious he wouldn’t even get tested before sleeping with me again. But with all the other problems which have happened in such a short space of time, I deeply miss having his support. But I know what he did was unforgivsabl

sorry posted too soon. I know what he did was unforgivable but I have a really limited support network so it’s left a massive gap in my everyday life.

I had PND and I’m really worried about slipping back into a dark place.

Ex has apologised profusely and seems really ashamed for what it is worth. I started crying when we spoke about it, he also totally denied knowing that I’d told him to stop while we were having sex.

He insists he wants to make it up to me etc but I don’t want to deal with his shit anymore. It’s all just so hurtful and stressful. How do I get through this stage?

I usually just lurk, but your situation is the same as mine was. My ex was soliciting prostitutes (for years!) and I had no idea. I had to be checked for STIs and HIV. It was horrible. You really can't come back from that, no matter how much he apologizes. He might really feel awful or he might just be a dick, but you can't trust him again. He deliberately had sex with someone else and then unprotected sex with you. I think you have to leave him. If it helps, I'm now fine and living a great life. It was dammed hard, but I did it, my children did it, and we're all doing well and NC with ex from any of us.

Oops, hit enter by mistake. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I thought I would never be able to make it on my own and raise four children but you do it day-by-day. The one thing I would do if I had to do it all over again is to talk to my friends in real life. I was so embarrassed even though HE was the one who had done this but my friends and family would have been so supportive if they had known the reasons for the split. (He was also horribly abusive). Talk to people and find every resource you can as a single mom (if you have kids). Take any help that is offered and pay it forward if and when you can. You'll get through this and will come out the other side so bright and full of life and happy! You can do this!