Leaving alcoholic partner

[Gingercarrier]

For those of you who have left an alcoholic partner - how did you deal with the guilt of what might happen to them when you'd gone and what was the final thing straw that made you go?

Watching with interest as I have a colleague that "can't" leave for fear of what they will do...

My suggestion is therapy to accept you are NOT responsible for their behaviour or decisions.

I've not left my alcoholic partner--he has left me, because I told him I couldn't cope with his drinking and abusive behaviours any more, and he found that offensive, and off he went.

I don't feel any guilt at all, because I know that I am not responsible for the way he behaves. He chooses to drink, he chooses to be aggressive and angry and unpleasant, and so he also chooses whatever happens to him as a result of these behaviours. It's nothing to do with me at all.

If you're worried, you could try going to a few Al Anon meetings. They can be really supportive and reassuring, and will help you come to terms with how little control you have over your drinking family member, and how little you can do to help or stop them.

Thank you @RandomMess and @ColdAndSad. I really know I'm not responsible and only he can make the decision to change. However, I think back to the man he used to be and feel heartbroken at what he's become.

It's ok to grieve and be sad for what was, doesn't mean you should stay and watch the show.

Very true @RandomMess but it is very painful.

I know ending any relationship is painful especially when you still love them.