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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ladies with military spouses (take 2)

2 replies

Brightlightsbigcity · 25/07/2019 13:17

Well, my original thread was just taken down because mumsnet dont apparently like threads like this. I guess some loser reported me for using a 'real' name. Yeah, a real name in quotation marks. Its apparently fine for ppl to behave inappropriately, but not fine to out them with a 'fake' name.

Here it is again, and thanks to the ppl on the original thread who were more sympathetic that my H has been messing around with some willing colleague, rather than worrying about the woman who was behaving inappropriately:

It pays to know who your H is working with on long deployments. For example, on a nine month sail around the world, stopping in at various lovely places. Let's say, for example, that they start to communicate with you less and less because of differing time zones, and have lots of free time ashore in exotic ports. They'll want to sightsee, eat out and go drinking in the evening...Knowing full well you'll only know what they tell you. So try and make sure you know someone there who's on your side that you can speak to. NOT someone like this lovely lady, lets call her B. (Is that ok?) An officer who should know better. Who thinks it's appropriate to get drunk and walk from the ship to a bar onshore, hand in hand with your husband (not usually a touchy feely kind of person, who has only held hands with family, gf and wife).
Obviously knowing its inappropriate (as someone who did this with mine said when asked what had gone on). Apparently you shouldn't ask because it's inappropriate. Er, why are you doing it then? Because I'm on the other side of the world and unlikely to find out, and you feel like a bit of a thrill?

So ladies, ask around, and if you find out that your H or bf is serving with such a person, be very wary.

(Additional info from q asked previously, yes, this was my H, yes he is a dick, yes, he was her boss but i found out too late to do anything about it. She didnt admit anything to me, just said 'this is inappropriate, he was my boss and twice my age', then blocked me. If it was a stupid, funny incident as H claimed, then you'd have thought he could have remembered the joke/circumstance, seeing as he remembered holding her hand. You'd also have thought that if it were innocent, she would have liked me (the wife) to have known that, and would have had no issues admitting that.)

OP posts:
Iwouldlikesomecake · 25/07/2019 20:09

Military wife here. Also have been cheated on in civvy street and seen it happen a lot. I'd say that there are some professions where temptation is put in your way more than others but ultimately it's the choice of the cheating person to do it and if they want to, they want to and they will, even if seemingly they have no opportunity or reason.

It's shit and I'm sorry it happened to you.

TripleSeptic · 25/07/2019 20:23

Former military girlfriend here. He sold it as his right to have downtime with whoever he chose because he had a very stressful job and the world owed him a favour

He's married to my former friend now, and I thank my lucky stars everday 😂

We didn't split over her, we split, lost touch with her before that, they got together, he offered me a goodbye shag in case he died when he went off again. I declined, although I didn't know they were together, just because I was fed up with his shit.

He came back and married her. True love!

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