Friends with mums at school

[Parent999]

Been split from ex for over 4 years, we have a daughter who is nearly 6. I have a joint residence court order.
Two and half years ago I met my current partner and we have just moved in together with my daughter my partners' three children.

So heres the problem, over the last year Ive made friends with some mums at the school gates. Theyve been very kind to me and helped a lot with informing me of school events etc since the ex refuses to co-parent. My partner is very unhappy about this, she's worried they are simply spying for my ex but I think she is jealous because they are attractive. They are both married and Im friends with their husbands too.
I wouldnt normally care too much but the school arent the best at informing me of things and Ive also heard through someone else that they stood up for me when the ex got the claws out at one of the 3,000 birthday parties we have to attend a year.

I also dont have many friends, if any, I simply dont have the time anymore so its nice to have a chat with someone outside of work about what our kids will eat for breakfast and what illness is doing the rounds at school.
Ive already ghosted a childhood female friend because my partner didnt like it.
Any ideas what to do? its still quite early in our relationship and I dont want this to become a precedent , on the other hand my partner has been incredibly loyal, should I respect her wishes?

Not to play the gender card but it’s pretty fcking hard to be taken seriously as a parent when you’re a man. Paradoxically if I do forget something the ex will be all over it and then people say it’s best for child to have one home and I should take dad to McDonald’s once every two weeks.*

As a fellow co-parenting dad, I must say I encountered a bit of this too. Thankfully, not too much (times must be changing!) but can empathise where your coming from. Also had the same issues with the missing paper slips (in my case, more from my Ex's tendency to forget things) and haphazard emails that don't always cover everything.

My youngest's latest teacher (for next year) actually suggested she could put a journal in the book bag in which everything that's put on the paper slips is scribbled inside as well. She even offered to title it "dad's book"! I've told her its fine to make it a book for both myself and my ex - so long as everything's put in the book and my ex knows the book has to stay in the bag we should be fine.

Is it possible you could suggest something similar to your kind's teachers? Even if your ex is keen to sabotage things, if she knows the book has to stay in the bag there's no way she can (conveniently) take it out and forget to tell you?

Tippletopple that’s a great idea, next years teacher is new to the school so it might be best to get it sorted that way, thanks