Painful sex

[EmbarrassingMama]

NC for obvious reasons.

I have a 13 month old who is adorable. My husband and I have always had a good sex life - nothing crazy but very satisfying and have matched sex drives. 3 times a week would have been fine for both of us pre-baby.

Our only baby was delivered by EMCS 13 months ago and we waited about 5 months to have sex post baby.

Since then we've had sex probably 6 times. Yes - 6 times in 7 months. This isn't because we don't want to do it, but because I find it excruciatingly painful, to the point of tears when we do.

I have a mild anterior prolapse so things don't feel as they were anyway, but I didn't have a vaginal birth so it's not as though everything is totally different.

The sensation: burning, sandpaper like.
We have tried bucket fulls of lube and it makes very little difference.

Has anyone experienced similar? Is there anything I can do?

I'm starting to reject his advances because I'm scared to try and this is not going to be good for our relationship. He's been as patient as a saint and I want to make sure he knows I'm still 'into' him.

I'm still BFing twice a day.

Advice welcome.

Thank you so much everyone. I feel a huge sense of relief talking about this; I haven't even confided in my girlfriends which I know is stupid.

I will go back to the GP and discuss estrogen levels, and need to also think seriously about giving up breastfeeding. I'm kind of ready to do this anyway, but was going to wait until the LO had settled at nursery before taking away the beloved boob...

I have been to see a private women's health physio but at the time my concern was the mild prolapse not the sex because I hadn't tried at that point. It was her who diagnosed mild anterior prolapse but said it was only really noticeable when I was standing, not lying down, hence the GP missing it during a normal exam. I do try to do pelvic floor exercises when I remember.

I did go for a smear about 3 months ago and everything there was clear, thankfully. In terms of contraception (hahaha), I have the mirena coil which I have had for around 10 years now with no issues so I'm disinclined to believe it's that. No hormonal pills and no latex issue. Maybe it's worth getting that removed to see if there's any improvement? There's not exactly any point it being there at the moment!

I will look into estrogen and discuss this with the GP; a little more forcefully this time!

And thanks for the recommendation for non penetrative sex. That's where we are at the moment and it's definitely helping.