Fuck I am pregnant and I don’t think I want to be

[Fuckfuckfuckshit]

One slip-up, emergency contraception within 1 day and I am 40 with 2 dc’s (2 and 5). No family help nearby. Amazing job that I love but just about balance the time with the children and the job. I really don’t think I can do this again, but I love my kids so much and the thought of the guilt of an abortion is awful, but so is the thought of another child.
H supportive either way.
Anyone else been in this scenario?
What did you do?

Your body and life so absolutely your choice. Give yourself a bit of time to process the news and go with your gut.

I had an early termination last year. My DC was 18 months at the time and I was suffering with post-natal depression as well as studying for a degree and wedding was booked on a day where I would have been 40+ weeks.

It was the right decision for me because I know I would not have copped with another child so soon. Yes I felt guilty but I don't regret the decision.

Only you can make the decision, either way, you do what's best for you and your family. Take your time and think through your options.

How many weeks do you think you are?

Do what's best for you OP.
You know how much you can juggle and cope with.

This is totally our decision.
It's tough but then you need to make a tough decision.
It's pretty much lose / lose either way.
Get to your GP and talk through all your options.
See if there would be counselling available if you decide to terminate.
You have the support of your DH either way.
Do what is best for you and your family as it is.

It's pretty pointless seeing the gp as they will shrug and say its your choice. It is quicker to self refer, and they offer counselling. if it's what you choose obviously sooner is preferable for you.

Please don't feel guilty if it's what you choose as you are doing what's best for your family.

Why the guilt? We need to stop feeling guilty.

DontDodo Doesn't matter unless it's before 24 weeks

Only 5 weeks. So very early days - I did a test just to double check the morning after pill had worked (which it hadn’t). I just can’t go through it all again - I know I can’t and I don’t think my children would benefit at all from another sibling. It’s just financially we can do it it’s a choice for our life and I feel like a complete idiot for getting into this mess

Don't feel guilty. You have to go what's right for you. Don't be so hard on yourself

I think it may be both guilt and the realisation that it’s most likely your last chance for another baby.
Many women go through a brief intense regret phase when they know there will be no more babies.

So - i’d weigh all factors. Job, finances, health risks, etc.
AND - also very importantly - how your existing kids lives would be affected. You say you have a good balance between job/kids now. Would you be able to maintain that and spread yourself between them, baby and the job?
Or something would have to give. What would that be?

I was in a similar position, although children were older. I couldn't believe I was 40 and pregnant. I didn't want that pregnancy right up until the day I delivered. Turns out the baby I didn't want then is the light of my life now.

I'm obviously not saying that this would be the case for you. It's a very personal decision which only you can make. Weigh up all the pros and cons carefully, good luck x

Toffeeapple123

Because obviously the procedure at 6 weeks is vastly different from 24 weeks, and also with hormones etc may have a bigger knock on effect on the patient..

You are right on the no guilt bit. 1 in 3 women have one in the uk. A lot are already mothers. None of them should feel guilty.

OP I had a surgical termination at 5 weeks. I must admit, I found it worse going to a dentist appointment. It’s fine - it’s not a painful experience (unless you go for the medical option). There are great clinics out there, eg you can self refer to BPAS - amazing doctors and nurses. I have no regrets. You have to do what is best for you and your family. Mistakes happen - you’re only human. Don’t punish yourself

There is no reason to feel guilty.

If you don't want to be pregnant , you don't have to be ( in the UK thankfully). Do what works for you.

This happened to me. I had 3 older children, was 42, thought my life was going to end! I made the decision to carry the baby. Right up until the day he was born I was convinced it was the wrong decision. My 3 older children are spreading their wings, learning about independence and my beautiful 4th child is now the light of my life. He makes my world complete. After he was born I did a lot of soul searching and had a change of career. Life is so much better. Good luck with your decision. It has to be yours and yours only. Don’t let other people judge x

your contraception failed, you don't want another kid. Don't have another kid- Not everyone who has a termination spends their lives wracked with guilt. Some of us are just thankful we can access a termination when we don't want to have another child.