Need to tell DH but scared of his reaction

[mrszombie]

I have been getting unwanted attention from a man at work for the past 2 months, it started off with inappropriate comments about my body and appearance and then it progressed to more sexual talk like "what we could get upto in a locked cupboard eh?" etc. I NEVER encouraged it, never smiled or said anything in return and often showed my disgust.

Anyway a few weeks ago he asked me out for a drink, I turned him down stating that I was married, he didn't take the rejection well and started saying things like I was frigid and stuck up, prude etc.

I told him if he carried on I would report him for harrassment and he stopped for a couple of days but then when it started up again it was more physical, he would touch me as I walked past him, come up behind me and touch my hair etc.

I've kept all this to myself because I'm new at the company and he's been there years and is well liked, plus I'm terrified of DH finding out, he has an extrememly volotile temper and quite often wants to kill people for looking at us the wrong way, this will make him explode and I'm scared of his reaction.

On the other hand I want to tell him so much, I want his support and I need to talk to him. Would you tell your DH's and do you think I should risk telling mine?

If you want to tell your DH maybe you should do it on a weekend so he has a couple of days to calm down and can't go storming up to the office and deck the twat.

this is in no way helpful at all.

but if someone were harrassing me - quite frankly i would insist my dh beat the holy fuck out of him

Totally agree with the other posters - you are not at fault. This man is exploiting the fact that you are new, and he is better known and "popular". To those reading your post, he sounds like a total creep.

Please write down the times and places and things that were said/done as soon as possible, and log any further instances. Go to the HR department and your line manager, or a union rep if you have one. I would also contact the police, CAB, or similar, and ask for some advice, particularly if you are feeling in anyway threatened.

You don't know if other women in your organisation have suffered similar harassment or worse at the hands of this man. Who knows what will come out in the wash if and when you get help?

When you have reported this at work, then it might be better to tell your DH, as he will feel better if he thinks the situation has already been actioned. I agree with the poster who has suggested telling him on a Friday, so that he has the weekend to cool off. Perhaps tell him when you have another family member around to encourage him to reflect on the situation rather than fly off the handle.

Good luck. We are thinking of you and wishing you well. Let us know how you get on.

in fact one day i came home from working in London. this man had deliberatley tried to humiliate me in a meeting and when i wouldnt back down he started SHOUTING (hackney council you fucking wankers) at me.

proffessional people don't shout...in meetings.

so i came home absolutley distraught.

i was sobbing for the two hours driving home -and sobbed all night.

after much "ther..there" from dh - he became increasingly angry and said " dya want me to go up there and knock him the fuck out?" then added " i know people"

like hes some mafiosa PMSL