Desperately sad and angry - how do I get over this?

[Sadandsadder]

Found out I’ve been lied to and strung along for 5 years by a man who has not been truthful about the nature of his relationship with his ‘ex’ wife.

I’ve finally had enough of being told lies and feeling worthless. The problem is he was my best friend and for the past 6 years we’ve been joined at the hip (well....now I look through a different lens, when it suited him we were).

How do I get over someone?? I know the advice is to keep busy but I’m so angry and sad it feels like a burning rage and a pit of stomach dread and it’s been 48 hours since we broke up.

You need to ask yourself some tough questions because you should have seen through his bullshit sooner. I’ve been there and only when I stopped looking at him, did I start to look at myself. Insight gave me freedom not wasting my time on mourning a relationship that I was hiding in.

I really have neglected myself and my own interests in favour of bending over backwards for him
YES, men are massively selfish but why do so many women do this???
YOU are your top priority - ALWAYS!
Never put a man above your own needs.
He hasn't ruined your whole life.
Try not to think like that.
He's changed the path you are now going to follow.
It may lead somewhere fabulous.

You may feel like a mug - but you aren't one.
He is a scumbag who used you.
That is who HE is.
You were just a trusting person who got taken for a ride.

The anger is overwhelming at times but it does subside.
You can start to erase him.
Start with blocking on everything.
Then deleting pics.
Then delete messages.
etc....
Just bit at a time until he is eventually gone.

Op did he live with you? Were you committed partners? There's not a lot to go on from your op. Were they truly separated? Did you meet and have contact with his kids? Or was he always secretive for the last six years keeping you away from them all?

I know you are heartbroken, and have been lied to, but I can't help wondering if at any point in the last while you questioned him/his behaviour or had any reason to suspect that he still had a relationship with his ex?

If you suspected at all, that's not on. It's wrong to be the other woman ( and in other Mumsnet posts you wouldn't have had any sympathy).

However, if he truly was leading a double life with you, then I'm really sorry, and for your children as well. If that's the case, keep busy and be relieved that you have finally found out the truth