New relationship and ex?

[Singletomingle]

Everyone knows that talking badly about your ex is a huge red flag but does this ever change? I've recently begun to see someone new and things are going well so far I've not mentioned my ex and thats no big deal. I've barely talked about them with anyone and certainly nothing bad as we have children together. However at some point I'm sure my new partner will ask and I dont want to lie, so is there a point where its ok to be honest about everything that happened or just brush 10 years of marriage off as didnt work out? Firstly would you want to know everything, secondly would you tell everything and thirdly when do you talk about it and in what detail?

When I would initially talk about my abusive ex with a new partner I would say briefly that he wasn’t the person I thought he was or that he wasn’t a nice person in the end. It was only when it really progressed to an actual relationship and I really trusted that person that I spoke about it in much detail. If I’m honest I don’t think a new partner wants to hear too much about past relationships as they may come to the conclusion that you’re not over that person.

Definitely would only want to know what was necessary at first. I wouldn’t start delving into the past unless new date specifically asks. Even then, I would be honest but succinct. You don’t need to share every detail of a bad breakup with a new guy!

Certainly don’t brush over 10 years of your life as that has had an impact on the person you are now and anyone who truly wants you will accept that you had a life previously to them. Just ensure you can fully trust the person you are telling and I think it will become a natural course of action when you eventually have to have ‘the talk’ with someone you are serious about.

I'd explain things at some point. I think it's important for your new partner to understand your experiences just in case you got scarred along the way and consequently act out because of it.