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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What's the next step?

4 replies

Fredsmum82 · 22/07/2019 15:22

Hello,
I posted (under a different user name) a few years ago about my now ExP acting oddly towards one of his nieces (some messages I had seen on his FB). We broke up a year later. A year later while living with his parents, the niece in question ended up living there also for a few weeks. She came to me one day and said he was acting odd towards her and that she didn't feel comfortable so I told her to tell him to stay away/stop bothering her.
Yesterday I found out about a message someone had sent him (he subsequently showed his boss, who told his wife who told me) which told him to 'stay away from your nieces or I'll tell everyone what you're like'. He also sent it to 1 of his niece's asking if they knew who the person who sent it was (it was a fake FB account). Since then I have spoken to 3 out of 4 of his nieces. The one who was living in the same house as him for a few weeks told me he'd kissed her, would pinch/touch her bum when walking past, they even needed to share a bedroom at one point (due to other family member staying there one weekend) and he inappropriately touched her. The messages I've also now seen from FB are not the type an uncle would send to a niece - calling her sexy, commenting on her bum, what he'd like to do to her with an ice cream, having her over his knee and spanking her a@*e etc etc. Now I need to say that his niece is slightly gullible and naive and she doesn't always see things which are obvious to others and before the touching incidents and the other sexual?? comments just thought the conversations were fun and innocent and playful. She's unsure whether to go to the police, she doesn't want to tear the family apart etc. I've told her to do what's best for her. Also, another niece believes he touched her inappropriately (before I knew them) but can't be sure as she was little but she has some memory of something happening!
I have a DS with ExP and don't know what to do next with all this information! Any advice or help welcome. Sorry it's so long but tried to get all the info. on one post!

OP posts:
Goodnightchristopherrobin · 22/07/2019 15:24

You need to contact the police and share everything you know, they will make decisions about next steps.

WhatTheAbsoluteFuck · 22/07/2019 15:29

Social Services and the police.

Aussiebean · 22/07/2019 15:33

Don’t wait for the niece. She is the child. You need to go to the police

Fredsmum82 · 23/07/2019 10:17

The nieces are over 18 now so their decision where to take this but should I stop contact between Exp and DS?

OP posts:
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