Overwhelm

[Sixinthe]

Advice please! Am so stuck, have been for ages and hate it.
Dh Hates his job. I desperately need career. Been sahm for far too long . New city so no contacts to network with, and feeling utterly useless. Hwo do I find a direction? I have a part time job on minimum wage but it’s not enough and dh cross that I’m ‘not trying ‘. Dh resentful that he’s the earner. I Freeze up in panic and can’t think how to move on. There must be something I can do. I feel very useless. Remind myself that I’m not useless just bored I do everything else- house, garden, emotionally look after two teens one with SEN.Am not sure I’m training the kids right either. Trouble is I get soooooo bored and demotivated that I don’t spend 8 hours a day doing up the house/ garden but get so I don’t know what to do it’s all so much that I stand in a confused daze and get v little done. How do I become productive and energised to get house done and get job that could lead to career ? I’d invest in retraining if I knew what. Wondered about social media marketing? Seems expensive to train and dh rolls his eyes at retraining somid have to be v sure it would pay off.
Obviously this is awful - dh not happy cos I don’t have well paid career. I don’t know how to get one. And am really really stuck.how can I break out of this? I used to be intelligent and focussed!

You sound like you need to get confidence back. Why not volunteer for something and think about what you want to do?

Dh should not be resentful unless he does all the looking after and organising kids, cooking cleaning shopping washing?

Thanks lozzer. For listening to my rant! You are right, my part time job has given me some confidence and I will look for volunteer work that may lead to something. Good idea!
I’m getting resentful that dh seems to think I do nothing, or do nothing very well. Trouble with housework is if you do it well no one notices you’ve done it! They only notice when you’ve slipped up! Pah!

Did you have a career before having the kids? Could you go back to that?
Oh, and your DH can shove his disapproval. If it was that easy to get a job, I don’t suppose unemployment figures would be what they are...... He should be encouraging you, not making you feel shit. Yes it’s frustrating when your partner can’t find work - but no need at all to take it out on them!

Your husband's attitude seems to be one of your biggest problems. It's hard enough to have the confidence to instigate change without some bastard being totally unsupportive. You need to lay it on the line with him.

What qualifications do you have? What do you do now?

Social media / digital marketing is good but it moves quickly. Also depending on where you are people might be looking for someone with a range of marketing skills not just social.

Yes, whatever skills I have they seem to need other ones !
Just seen the pitman training school and am thinking of doing secretarial or social marketing ( marketing seems to be a full time proper course). Why dont they have the price on the website though? Humph!
Thanks pog. Have to say get a bit fed up when I’m accused of not trying. Apparently his mum thinks I could have got a job by now, so that’s ok then. Oh and by job, I don’t mean job job, it’s got to be a full on toptastic career. Oh oh ranting again! Sorry!
Just spent Friday cleaning, washing, changing ( his) sheets, chopping hedge, feeding kids, putting up with kids, dragging kids out for fresh air, cooking (his) dinner, washing up getting kids to bed, and when he said, ‘ I’m not doing x because I work.’ I said, ( go me) ‘ I work too’ and he actually said, ‘work? what do you do all day? ‘ grrrrr.

He sounds horrible! Go away on a week retraining course for your new career and make him take the week off work to do your job. That should shut him up.

Social media marketing suits people who like writing, design (posts usually have images) and have analytical skills to support the seo side and to measure performance. They also need to be fast and enjoy learning new apps/channels in my opinion.
A careers advisor to help you evaluate your skills and interests would be useful if they still exist.
If you list out what you enjoy and what you are good at perhaps wise MNers can suggest careers. Were there subjects at school you particularly liked?

Tee hee, will do aria. And just wait till I’m out all day every day and at night having Friday night drinks after work. Sigh!
Thanks Diana for that clear low down. I do like writing and art. I’ll go and see a careers chap. They are around, but pricey. But then it’s worth it!
Many thanks

Stop doing so much; especially for teenagers, get them to help. Look at local colleges for a course maybe even a refresher.