Fucked up now feeling sad and worthless

[madeabooboo]

Been chatting to a guy for a bit who is married. As am I but I've been unhappy for a while but it's not been the right time to leave. A sexless marriage basically so this was just a hook up for one thing only.
Only I started to fall for OM. Which is when I saw his true colours. However I can't seem to keep away. I think about him all the time, I fantasise about his wife finding out and leaving him. I find him so absurdly attractive yet know he is an asshole and now feel guilty lonely and worthless
What the hell can I do to get through this

Sexless marriages can mess with your head, so you have my sympathies.

I'm just going to assume you have your reasons for looking outside your own marriage rather than leaving it/trying to fix it, etc., no judgement here.

Something that has helped me, probably ridiculous, is having an affair with myself. I mean deciding that I'm going to continue to be sexual even if it's alone, purchasing 'toys' as little treats and scheduling/prioritising, ahem, "me time". It might sound pathetic and daft, but it has actually helped me see myself as a sexual person once more and I've started taking better care of myself generally, valuing myself more, and enabled me to finally end the problem relationship which I was sleepwalking through before. Just a thought.

Firstly you could leave your marriage and find someone who isn't taken.

Regardless of your situation cheating isn't the answer. And you're also doing it with a married man to fuck up their family too..... He will probably do it anyway but why do you want to be the reason another family is ruined? I suspect you don't care about that since you're doing it too.

Leave your current situation and find someone who is available if you really need to jump from one relationship to the next.

I have no sympathy for cheaters so everything you're feeling is much deserved.

@AlongTheWay I don't want your sympathy I am just looking for ways to forget this man

Leave your husband.

You are obsessing about OM as it is a distraction from your shit marriage.

Fix yourself and love yourself. You're not happy now. You can't be happy as you are so you focus on an outside force making you happy even though logically you know it won't happen what way.

Makes sense